Nightmare

Jonathan came busting into our room about 2 AM last night, crying in the way that jolts a mother awake like no other. I was sure he was hurt, or sick, or being attacked by some sort of household beast, or what??? As he made his way to my side of the bed, he bawled loudly, "But I don't want to play football!" I grabbed him and hugged him and said, What, what, buddy, are you okay?, (and also, what? WHAT?)
He got into bed (taking my pillow and my spot in the process). In between huge, heaving sobs, he would take gulps of air, and explain a little more. Apparently, he had a nightmare, during which we signed him up to play football. More specifically, his Daddy had signed him up to play football with other children. On a team. Running around. Outside.
I tried my best not to laugh out loud as I soothed him back to sleep, telling him it was just a bad dream, we would never make him play a sport that he did not want to play, and more specifcally, Daddy would never force him to play football.
If being forced to play team sports is a profound fear of his, God placed him in the right family. Dave is the LAST father in the world that would dream of forcing his son into a football league. He has no childhood sport glory to relive through his children. I was never on a team sport, and I would probably have required therapy as a child if my mom had put me on one. She was always trying to help me out of my shell, with dance class (a failure for me, but it was nice of her to have given me the opportunity) but I think she was wise to never try this. Every single recess period or PE class for my entire childhood, until high school, when I enrolled in Weighlifting for my one PE elective required to graduate, was a heart-pounding, humiliating experience for me. I was terrified of the ball (ANY type of ball, ANY type of game) and my main object was to avoid the ball at all costs. Dodgeball was hell. Then games like kickball were terrible also, because avoiding the ball was a cruel paradox, because not being picked to handle the ball was social rejection, and exactly the type of negative attention from my peers I was trying to avoid. But then when it was my turn, I would inevitably fail, and my team would be disappointed, so all attention would be focused on me (which for any reason, good OR bad, in elementary school, was unbearable for me) and it was just awful. When I hear the term painfully shy, I understand it on a highly personal level. Thank goodness some of it went away with age, I learned to cope with it or hide it in other ways, and that adulthood has different requirements than childhood. I am not forced, 5 days a week, to play team sports. I am VERY grateful that this is a difference adults enjoy. Of course, if either of my children love team sports, I would completely support them and would probably be able to overcome my fear of all balls to cheer them on. But given my childhood, I would NEVER allow my husband to force my children to participate in team sports. Luckily, I married Dave, so this is not an issue. I am sure he had similiar issues with recess.
And for those of you who are reading this and thinking, WOW! They have clearly done a great job of not passing their fears on to their child, you must know that I have simply encouraged them both to be who they already are. We haven't spent any time brainwashing them against sports. Jonathan's physical issues make participating in competitive sports, such as soccer, impractical. Too much running. He obviously participates in PE and recess at school, and is given ample opportunity to be physically active after school. He is lean and in great health. I have been advised to get him involved in something such as swimming or martial arts if we (him and us both) want to put him in sports. Whether Jonathan intuitively understands that he is slightly limited, or his personality simply makes it not his thing, he does not want to be signed up for sports. He has always protested at the thought of it.
So, anyways, his nightmare will not come true. We (or Daddy, rather) will never take him to a field at night and force him to play football with other children.