I wish...

I could remember to use those cloth bags at the grocery. I own them, but I always forget to bring them and then I just use plastic.

I were a neater person. I wish being tidy weren't such an unnatural thing for me. I wish my closets were clean and organized. I wish people could just drop by without me wanting to crawl under the couch in shame.

I were less critical of myself. Hmmm.

I could take back every unkind and discouraging word I have ever said, both to my loved ones and my enemies.

I could be better at expressing how I feel to Dave. I love him so much but my feelings just seem to get stuck inside, and I don't know how to let them out! I am always so excited to see him at the end of the day but instead of acting like I am, I just sort of mutter, Hey. I think it's partially how I grew up, and partially just my shyness.

I wish...

I did not enjoy food so much. I wish I did not think about it all of the time, and I wish I were one of those people who just forgets to eat lunch.

I were more confident of my abilities as a mother. It's hard to be an effective parent when I'm always second-guessing myself and comparing myself to other moms.

I could motivate myself to recycle. I know I should.

I could remember to take vitamins.

I could find the time and energy to garden. I would like to grow some veggies and herbs.


I wish...

I could stop loving gross fast food so much. I love Taco Bell, and as far as I'm concerned, there is nothing like a cheeseburger Happy Meal. I know it's not technically good food, but I just love it so much.

I weren't so influenced by ads and commercials. I flip through a magazine, and suddenly I really need some new mascara. Or shampoo. Or lipgloss. Or I really want one of those Swiffer dusters.
I can't even let myself watch an infomercial.

I weren't so dependent on the Internet, my cell phone and our DVR cable for happiness. I know it's not REAL happiness, but it sure seems like I'd be plenty miserable without them.

I wish...

I could enjoy a day at the beach with my family without worrying about how fat I look.

I did not care about what other people thought of me so much. (Although, I am improving on this.)

I could finally be at peace with my hair. It will always be the way it always has been, and trying to change it just makes me unhappy.

I felt more like a real grown-up. We will be married seven years in November. We have owned this house for over five. I have been a mother for almost five years. I have all of the responsibilities and roles of a grown-up, but I still look around and feel like a stranger in my life. Like, really, this is my house? My kids? Oh, yes, and that's my husband over there. Hello, there. Does anyone else know what I am talking about, or am I just crazy? I keep waiting to finally feel like a real grown-up. Maybe when I turn 30.

I felt better, had more energy, and weren't in pain everyday. Yes, I know it could be worse. But as long as I'm wishing, why not?

I could finally stop biting my nails. For good. I stop, and then I start again. I guess it's a 24 year old habit, so it's hard to break.

I could figure out what I am supposed to do with my life. I keep praying about this, and the answer I keep getting is that I am already doing it. So instead, I wish I were more satisifed and content, and less doubtful and worried.