Jonathan Can Write His Name!

Today Jonathan went and got a piece of paper and a marker, and wrote his name, J-O-N! All by himself, without any prompting from us. I am just thrilled with him. He was so proud of himself. The look on his face was so cute.
Unfortunately, this proud accomplishment coincided with another first: catching Mommy and Daddy in The Act. This has never happened to us before! Of course, we had locked our door, but we underestimated Jonathan. He figured out how to pick it in a few seconds. We had told him to go play, that we were taking a timeout. We did the exact opposite of what the parenting books and magazines say to do in this situation. Instead of remaining calm and acting natural and not making a big deal out of it, we both started shrieking at him. When we went out there, he showed us why he had to come in our room. He had written his name for the first time! We made a huge deal out of it and hopefully he won't remember this incident. I don't know, I remember lots from when I was four...
Oh, he wrote his name backwards, but I wrote my Jamie with a backwards and upside down e on the end forever.

The Week So Far

Okay, warning: Another blog about weaning Anna. I spent a wise 20 bucks on Tuesday and went and saw my therapist. We talked a lot about Anna and my health and everything. She really put things in perspective, as she seems to always do. So on Tuesday night, after enduring a wild feeding session which involved Anna biting me and laughing, I thought, and why am I so sad this is ending??? I decided that I would nurse her, brush her teeth, and get her to sleep without nursing (for the first time in 28 months). This is what I should have been doing all along. It took 1 and a half (at least) hours, but she finally fell asleep with me sitting up holding her. My throat was raw from all of the storybook reading and lullaby singing. I was so tired I could not think of the tune to ABC's. Really. I could remember the alphabet, thankfully! She finally fell asleep in the middle of a very long story I had made up about her Webkinz having a Belle princess tea party and slumber party. So this was progress! She still nursed during the early morning hours (like 3 AM and on) but at least she had those hours without milk sitting on her teeth, and I also feel better about leaving her with Dave. If I can get her to sleep with no nursing, I know he can get her to sleep. Last night, she lasted until midnight before she fell asleep. But there was no screaming or fit throwing. She just accepted that she could not nurse, and it just took her a really long time to fall asleep. So I am feeling a lot more positive than I did at the beginning of the week that I can wean her. I am still sort of sad and uncertain about the whole thing. But it needs to be done.

Poor Tigerclaw! = Poor JonJon!

Jonathan forgot to feed one of his Webkinz pets for a week! When he logged on, Tigerclaw's food indicator was actually down to 30. This is what we had to purchase and feed his leopard, Tigerclaw, to fill him up again:

1 Chinese takeout order
1 bundle asparagus
1 bottle apple juice
1 slice chocolate cake
2Garlicky Gazelle Tenderloins
1 bowl of blueberries
1 hot dog
1 bowl of granola with milk
1 apple

I am not exactly sure what was in the Chinese takeout box. If it was something like chow mein, maybe it wasn't as heavy so he had room for all that other stuff. But surely gazelle would be pretty filling.

I forgot to mention this when I first posted this blog:
Jonathan only had about 30 bucks left on his account. So to finance Tigerclaw's re-nourishment, we had to go in each of his rooms and pick out some things to sell. It was so painful for him to part with his pool table! But we were able to sell it for 600 bucks. It was a good lesson to learn: buy food before toys, and if you run out of money for food, sell whatever you can.
A few times in the past, Jonathan has gotten too low on money to buy food, and his little sister Anna will mail him some food through KinzPost, or she will purchase something large, and mail it to him, and then we will sell it back to Webkinz.

I'm leaving on a jet plane!!!

I actually bought a ticket. I am leaving to go to NC on Saturday! I will get there on my BFF's birthday! And I am staying three nights and leaving to come home Tuesday afternoon. My mom says we are putting Anna in a couple of days of detox. Even though I am worried about being away from the kids for so long (I have been away from Dave before for two weeks, but never the kids for more than one night) I am really excited about the idea of going on an airplane alone. Without a carseat and tons of other kid gear. It will be like when I used to travel with just my backpack and no luggage. Getting to spend time with my best friend, and not having to worry about anyone but myself for a few days. It will be like a vacation! It is exciting. I think I will still cry when I walk away from them at the airport. But I think it will be a good thing to go away for a few days.

Desperate Times....

I am thinking about running away from home. Seriously. I am hoping my BFF in NC will take me in for a few days. Dave is encouraging me to go. In a nice way, not like get the H! out of here. I really need a break. I am on the verge of a breakdown. I have never had one before, but I think one might be approaching. I know it's hard to tell my tone from this post, but I am not entirely kidding.
Why am I so stressed? I have not slept one decent night in 2 years and 4 months. Even the few nights I have been away from Anna, I wake up constantly. I don't even think I know how to sleep anymore. I have loved, loved, loved nursing Anna, but the time has come for it to stop. But I honestly don't know how to go about this. My doctor told me in January: You need to wean her. The rheumatoligist told me last month: You need to wean her. The regular dentist said the same thing, and now the pediatric dentist I took her to on Friday told me that I need to wean her. He was VERY strong about it. He said he would not treat her teeth until I wean her. He gave me one month to do it. He showed me awful pictures of what her teeth may eventually look like if we don't get this under control. Has anyone seen the Seinfeld episode that involves the old gym coach from Jerry and George's school? Where they talk about his nasty "baked bean" teeth?
I also need to wean her because of my health problems (the fibromylagia). I need to be on better medication and I need to be able to sleep better. I am miserable. I am tired. I know all of this. I need to wean! But I just can't. For one thing, my breasts get massive and engorged when I try. I think my hormones get messed up because I feel very weepy and evil.
Anna is now a toddler, and she is completely irrational. Had I weaned her at one, she would have been much calmer, and this would have been much less of a power struggle. Must I say this? My mother-in-law was right about this whole nursing thing in a way. I guess I just did not anticipate Anna's teeth, and my health, and her determined little personality when I made the decision to let her determine when she would wean. I never offer them (the boo-boos, which she refers to as right, and roll. Right being the right one, and roll being the left, because we have to roll over) to her, but I almost never refuse (unless we are out in public or something). I was telling my friend Karen that I think I need to join a recovery support group. Hi, my name is Jamie, and I am addicted to nursing.
Dave is looking at flights right now and he is saying, You could go from Friday to Tuesday, it's just a little more. If he were not such a fantastic hubby I would suspect he's trying to get rid of me or something.

Home Again, Home Again

My Mom was discharged from the hospital today! She seems a little better, but we still don't really know why her stomach hurts so much. Hopefully some of the tests will bring some answers. Her homecoming meant that the Dooligans also got to go home. We have been staying there since Tuesday to take care of the pets (we did not want to bring them here to socialize with our poor flea infested kitties) and other stuff. Also to help my stepdad get back and forth to the hospital, and I just felt better being there.
My Mom has a great house, but there is nothing like home. There is no bed in the world like our bed, and I have so missed the little things, like my DVR, and my Starbucks coffee. My organic milk. My Charmin toilet paper. My Internet connection. Also, trying to fill my Mom's shoes is exhausting. She has so many things to take care of, like her hubby, and her two little shi-tzus. Mutton and Biscuit woke me up super early everyday. They are definitely morning dogs, while I am REALLY NOT a morning person. I have called them some names that I am not proud of this week.
Also, Dave has worked INSANE hours this week, and I have gotten almost NO sleep. Neither has he. I have been trying to juggle my own household and family with my Mom's household and responsibilities, and also trying to visit my Mom. If it were up to me, I would have just camped out there all day long. So I am very grateful that she got to come home, because I know it was miserable for her to be at the hospital, and obviously I want her to get better. But I am also grateful to be able to come home to my house tonight, even though Dave came home for dinner and had to go back to work. There's no place like home...

Walgreens

Today on the way home, I stopped off at Walgreens. I have had a stressful week. My purchases were:
1 large Dove dark chocolate bar
1 large Dove Milk Chocolate bar with Almonds
Cherry Chapstick
1 bottle Nivea Goodbye Cellulite! Gel Cream

I swear that the salesman actually smirked at me. Like, alright, fat girl! Why don't you go on home and rub this on your thighs while you are eating your 1200 calories worth of chocolate?

Maybe I am just really, really tired and cranky.
(One of them was for Dave; I hate dark chocolate. It's too healthy.)

Monday

Sometimes after we go to the gym, we walk across the parking lot to Walgreens and the kids get to pick out either a treat (edible) or a suprise (a toy). Yesterday Anna picked out some charms for her new purple Crocs: one of a horse, and one that said Best Friends. She also got a tub of Play-Doh. Jonathan got a plasma dinosaur. The lady at the checkout counter put their suprises in separate bags, which they really loved, and after a loooooong day, I could have kissed her for it! This meant that they each got to carry their own bag back to the car, and I did not have to negotiate any sort of compromise between them about who got to carry the bag and who had to carry their suprise without a bag. When we were walking out, Anna said, That lady's a good guy!
Except for she says yady, which is even cuter. She has really picked up on the whole good guy/bad guy concept from Jonathan and Trystan.
I told her that her charm said Best Friends, and I asked her who is her best friend? She thought for a second and said, Bubba's my best friend. Later that night, I was giving them a bath. Jonathan kept filling his mouth with cold tap water and spitting it at her. She kept screeching in protest, and he would giggle hysterically and do it again. I said, what a minute, I thought Bubba was your best friend? To which she said, No, Mama, you my best friend.

My Husband is a Saint

To quote my Mom, anyways. But I do have to agree that he does have some saintlike qualities. Like today, when he got up a half-hour earlier than me, like he always does, even though it's his day off, just so he can have coffee ready and waiting, right by my head. And he makes it perfect. I know he would say that he really gets up early so he can be showered and ready before the kids get up, but I prefer to view it this way. I think most of what makes a marriage is this: simply choosing to view things in the most favorable way, seeing your partner in the best possible light.
Today after he had watched the kids for several hours, I came home, and he had lunch all ready. When I said I wanted to go swimsuit shopping, he cheerfully said, Sure! Even though he must know what a miserable trap he's walking into after all these years. So we pack up and head out to Sears, where he tries to entertain two very crabby kids for an entire hour (plus, really!) while I try on about seventeen slightly different sizes, styles, and shades of swimsuit, which to him, must surely look all the same. But to me, there must be some magical combination of tankini top and bikini bottom that will make me look fab and take away twenty some years of self-loathing! Maybe the coral floral top with the solid bottom will be more flattering. Maybe I need a darker color. Oh, hi, honey, how's it going, I've got it narrowed down to these two styles, but now I have to decide which color and print combo I want, and maybe, maybe, I just want to get a swimskirt. But then I feel that I have entered the perilous terrain of old lady attire. I do have the grandma arms to match. Finally, I emerge, sweating and defeated, but DETERMINED that I WILL LEAVE this store with a swimsuit to wear to the beach TODAY (no, I am not going to wash it first; I will simply rip off the hygenic liner and slap the suit on. I haven't caught anything yet...)!!!
So then I find Dave and the kids. He's looking a little bedraggled but is still being awfully pleasant. He helps me make my final decision, listening carefully and weighing the options, like we are actually deciding something here. We check out, get the kids in the car, who are now VERY crabby, and are driving down the road, when I realize the store clerk failed to remove the Anti-theft device (Warning: Do not attempt to remove this device. Ink and glass will explode!). So we go back to Sears, I run in, wait in line, and politely tell the clerk, in passive voice, that the tag was not removed from my suit. Then I thank her profusely, and practically apologize (sometimes I annoy even myself!).
I get home, try the suit on, decide it gives me ass fat and saddle bags where I swear there were none before! I literally feel that the suit shrunk two sizes on the way home. I immediately start tearing the armoire apart, telling Dave as I fling all of our stuff out on the floor, that we REALLY need to go through this and clean it out tomorrow. He watches me, and I vaguely wonder, for the thousandth time, what must he really be thinking? Can anyone truly have this bottomless reserve of patience?
I find two halves to the four swimsuits I now remember I already own. I am completely focused on finding the missing pieces to them now, convinced that there is no WAY, no HOW, that they could possibly make me look as much like Homer Simpson as that horrid suit from Sears did. Dave goes and looks in the garage, and finds them in the bottom of my handwash basket, still waiting to be handwashed from last summer. I inform him that we will go to the beach after I have handwashed and dried all of the swimsuits. I also tell him that I will be returning the swimsuit from Sears. He calmly replies, It's okay, I know it's a really big decision. And here's the thing, there's no hint of sarcasm in his voice! He understands, that to me, it is a big decision. So now we are hanging out here at the house, waiting for the suits to dry. God, I hope one of them fits me.
My husband is a saint.

Kids Feeling Better

The kids (and Jamie) have been stuck in the house for two days now with a stomach virus, but they started feeling better tonight. After a walk around the neighborhood we decided to have a nice family game of candy land on mama's bed, but you'll see how much candy land was actually played. The funny thing is, Anna wants to play Candy Land every chance she can get, but to her playing it is about getting the pieces out and looking at them. When its kids time, though, I just let them decide what we do. We were talking about the up coming wedding and we love the way Anna says Uncle Cory's name.

This next video requires a little explanation. I was holding Anna one day while Jamie was cooking and I was talking to Anna about what mama was doing. Then I said, "Anna, tell mama to Shake That Thing." and the rest is history.

Anna's Flower Baby Dress, Almost Done

Anna's dress is almost done! Amanda from church is making it and she has done a beautiful job. Now we just have to pray that she doesn't grow too much in the next 6 weeks or so! The only thing left is to hem the bottom! Having Amanda make the dress was really cool because I got to pick the colors and fabrics and ribbon and get exactly what I wanted. We could not find anything in the right color so we put a sheer sparkly teal over the pale blue satin. She looks like a doll baby with it on! (She still acts like Anna though, which makes it even cuter!)

A Most Fantastic Evening

A night alone without the kids
It's raining outside
Four pieces of ice cream pie
An Office Marathon on DVR
No Bedtime, No Bathtime, No ToothBrushing Battles:

A Most Fantastic Evening!

Jonathan's Got a Gameboy

Yesterday in the car, every time I had to apply the brakes, like to avoid hitting the car in front of me, getting a ticket, or plowing down pedestrians, Jonathan shrieked at me from the backseat: Mama, you keep making my gameboy drop! Stop dropping my gameboy.
This is just so like a little kid! He had no concern or no empathy for my trying to get us home safely. The gameboy falling had nothing to do with him not holding onto it tight enough.

Lately, Jonathan's favorite thing to say to me is: You're mean, Mama! And my reply is, I'm not mean, I'm your Mama!
I guess, meaning, I have to be a little mean, or I wouldn't be your mama, I would just be some lady that makes you food and juice cups and never requires anything of you in return.