Week in Review

Wow! Is this the longest I've EVER gone without blogging or what? A whole week? What happened to me blogging two, three, four times a day? I've got to get with the program. I know it's the busy holiday season and all but, come on!
So. This week has been a little rough, but also joyful. My stepdad Ed has been in the hospital for a week now. He left Holmes on Monday morning but was doubled over with pain before they could make it home. My Mom drove him to Drs. office, and they did some investigating and sent him over to Wuesthoff to be admitted. Wuesthoff is the hospital that Anna refers to as "the little tiny hospital where I was born?" Holmes is the "great big hospital where Bubba was born?" This is how she distinguishes between the two anytime Poppa is in the hospital. He has remained at Wuesthoff every since, and will be there at least through Monday. My Mom has remained at his side the entire time. She has slept in the hospital room right by him for this entire week. She has not even gone home to shower (but she is showering at the hospital, don't worry, she does not stink or anything!). She has kept her sense of humor and her generous heart the entire time. She is still more concerned about others than herself. When I say others, I don't just mean Ed. She is still worried about all of us. She is still thinking and remembering about everything that is going on with her kids and grandkids. I don't know how she has done it.
That is how she has navigated life so far, with humor and focus on others instead of herself, and I have to say that I think is doing a very admirable job as his wife. Of course, I am also worried about her and hoping she is taking enough care of herself. My Mom has made friends with everyone at the hospital. Yesterday she got to leave to go get lunch and I talked to her on the phone and she was like, yeah, I'm bringing back Subway for Sonie. Sonie is one of the nursing assistants that has been taking care of Ed all week. She is really sweet. Everyone at Wuesthoff has been exceptionally attentive and loving to my stepdad and very kind to my Mom.
He has made it through two rounds of surgery, one on Thursday and the other yesterday. Last night, he was sitting up and talking and laughing. My Mom and him are still joking around with each other. Ed is always making jokes with anyone who comes in his room to care for him. When they were prepping him for surgery yesterday AM, the nurse came in and said, Now, Mr. Bress, let me take a look at your chest. And he said, Only if you let me take a look at yours!
Only cute old men can get away with comments like this. Something that I really appreciate about this whole ordeal is that it has forced me to take a look at how I treat my loved ones. I never know when the last time I might see Ed is. I do love him very much, whether or not he is just my stepdad or not. I used to never say this to him, but now everytime I see him, I always give him a hug and a kiss and tell him I love him. This is what I have learned lately: Say what you need to say. Don't wait. Even if it scares you to say what you need to say, and even if the words get stuck in your throat and you aren't sure if you are saying the exact right thing, say it anyways. Every day we have is precious and an opportunity to show love to others. Love is one thing that we should never procrastinate on.
I spent Sunday afternoon at a wake for a friend, Mary Anne Ripley. She is the daughter of my Mom and Ed's neighbors and dear friends. We met over the summer, and since she also has fibromyalgia, we instantly bonded. To me, this was like being in Paris, France, and meeting someone who not only spoke English, but was also a Baptist from Central Florida. She spoke my own language and understood what I was going through on a level that no one else in my life really could. I was blessed to have known her. She passed away in her sleep. I have confidence that she is in heaven now. I miss her, but the one thing that I really regret, is that I kept thinking for weeks, I should call Mary Anne. I just had this nagging feeling, this urgency to speak with her, to say hello, how have you been. But I let all of the other stuff that seemed more important on my to-do list get in the way of making that connection. Now I can't even remember what that stuff that seemed so important was, but I got a phone call instead, saying she was gone. I am so sad for her parents and her children. I hope they can find peace in the weeks to come. It is a hard time to lose a loved one. Not that there is ever an easy time. At one point at the wake, her parents went and sat next to each other and just held each other. Dave and I were both stricken. God forbid any parent should ever have to bury a child. Even though Mary Anne was in her 40s, she was still their youngest child and their baby girl. Like her Dad was saying to me, it's just not natural. He has asked God, why couldn't you take me instead? I've had a good life. I'm in my 70s. It is a grief I hope I never have to bear. I can't even imagine. One thing that he said to me at the wake stuck with me. He kept saying to me, you know, people are good. People are just so good. I was impressed that the words coming out of his mouth were not words of bitterness or despair, but of faith and gratitude.
It's been a hard week, but also a good one in many ways. Anna had her third birthday party at school yesterday. We made strawberry cupcakes with hot pink frosting and pink sugar on top. She can write a letter A all by herself. According to her, the letter A belongs only to her. It is HER LETTER. She gets pretty annoyed when she has to share it with other people, like Allie in her class at school. She is so smart and special and spunky.
I got most of my shopping done yesterday, and I have my Christmas cards (use Winkflash! They are fast and cheap!) all ready to be addressed, stamped and sent out. I feel pretty good about being ready for Christmas.