As many of you know, I have been suffering from (almost) chronic headaches for the last few years. Quick recap: ice-cream headache to severe stabbing pain directly behind my right eye, facial numbness and tingling on my right side, lots of visual disturbances (lights! spots!), which goes on for days and days at a time, often being there when I go to sleep and still present when I wake up in the morning. I finally went to a neurologist about a month ago. He wanted me to eliminate certain foods (everything that is delicious, basically) and keep this complicated food diary and chart my headaches along with the food so we can try to pin down what's triggering them. He also gave me a script to fill for a migraine medicine that he wanted me to try when I get one bad headache to see if it has any effect on the headache or not. So my follow-up with him is tomorrow. I have no food diary or headache calender, and I NEVER GOT A CHANCE to fill the prescription. I feel like I have an exam tomorrow, and not only have I not studied, I never read any of the chapters or did any of the homework! I do know this: when I tried diligently to eliminate any of the foods, my headache magically went away. For the first time in two years, I went at least three days with no episodes. Which was FABULOUS! But then Thanksgiving came, and then with my stepdad being so sick and in the hospital, and with other stuff, I have started to let the bad, delicious foods slip back into my diet. Sometimes out of pure indulgence and sometimes out of necessity. Like yesterday, I was hungry, there were only nitrated meats (translation: hot dogs) available at the birthday party I was at, I was hungry, so I ate one. And wound up with a TERRIBLE headache that ruined the rest of my day. And is still hanging on this morning. This is the story of my life: I know if I eat really well, I will lose weight and my health will improve. But I still keep eating the poisonous things that make me fat and will probably evenutally take years off my life. Now I have the choice to be headache free but follow a very restrictive diet, and it is like I am choosing to put these things in my mouth that I know will lead to bad pain and suffering. Here's a good question: Am I stupid or something? If it is really this simple, why can't I just not eat the bad things?
I am trying to decide if I should still go to this appointment tomorrow. I feel like I am wasting the doctor's time since I did not comply with what he wanted me to do.
And Anna became croupy-cough, running-a-high-fever sick at 10 PM last night. I was scheduled to work in the nursery the second service, and I could not exactly call people at 10 PM at night. But all of the fabulous ladies will take care of it. I am just bummed because my niece spent the night last night and we were all supposed to go to church this AM. Which I was really looking forward to.
Ugh. I have to say, if someone could wave a magic wand and either make my fibromyalgia pain and symptoms go away, or my chronic headaches, I would choose the headaches. I would want the headaches to go away. It would be an easy choice. So if anyone knows any fairies, let me know.
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3 comments:
wow..
we are thinking along the same lines..
check your e-mail to read my woes.
I hope your headache goes away and you get to feeling better..I know it should be easy, but nothing about giving up good foods is easy!
First of all, stop punishing yourself. It is not easy to change your diet when you are busy and stressed. But at least you have some idea now of what might be causing the headaches and what might make them go away. This is good! Just start focusing on how good it feels when you do eat good-for-you food and don't get headaches. The more positive you feel about it, the easier it will be to have the motivation to do whatever you have to do to avoid those foods that make you feel bad. Don't try to change all at once; make gradual changes that are easy. Like one healthy meal a week. And then two. And so on.
I've actually been training myself to keep my kitchen clean. Not only am I staying caught up with my dishes (mostly), but I'm actually enjoying doing it. Old dogs can learn new tricks!
I HATE the croupy-cough!!! Thatcher gets it ALL the time!
...dude just eat the good healthy foods, once you get used to the new pattern and way of eating you'll feel so much better AND you'll stop yelling at the kids so much (yes Jonathan called me yesterday and told me ALL about the headache and how you raised your voice!) ok, he didn't really call me and I think you're one of the coolest mom's out there and I don't think your capable of yelling AND eating healthy is SO DANG HARD!
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