THE Headache

My aunt Vernie used to complain of THE headache. As in: I've got THE headache. It was never, I have a headache. No, it was THE headache. I never understood this until the past few years when I found myself afflicted with my own THE headache. I finally went to see a neuro guy about my headaches. I've been suffering for over two years with these right-sided, behind my eye headaches that often go on for days at a time. I have them more days than I don't. I would most accurately describe the pain as an ice-cream headache peppered with sharp stabbing pains. I get a numb and tingly sensation that goes down the right side of my face and spots in my vision. Even when the headache goes away, I still have a nagging pain where it used to be. Nothing I take over the counter really seems to bother my headaches. They just continue to go about their business of stealing the joy from my days and making me slowly lose hope of ever feeling good again. I go to sleep with a headache, I wake up with a headache. (For someone who "doesn't really like to complain," I certainly do it a lot, don't I?) I've had numerous tests (like MRIs and CT scans), and I have even tried a few prescription medications for my headaches. But I finally found my way to a neurologist. He was really nice. He sat down with me for a long time and checked out my whole history and gave me a thorough exam. I feel confident that he is a good doctor. I felt really comfortable with him, which was a big relief. I am starting to get paranoid that people just think I am crazy. I mean, if I weren't inside my own body, I would probably even accuse myself of being a hypochondriac! I know I probably sound crazy or just whiny and wimpy to some people. But he seemed to totally understand and recognize my headaches. He said my condition (or what he suspects to be my condition) is sometimes hard to treat. He said the type of headaches I have are sometimes tricky to treat with migraine medicines. He did give me a script for Imitrex, which I somewhat doubt I am going to try. He wanted to see if my headache would respond to it. (I got the feeling he was just like, hey, let's see what this will do! Eenie Meenie Minie Mo.... OK... Imitrex it is!)
The further along this road I go, the more I am starting to question modern medicine. And I mean literally modern medicine. Most medications I have taken have seemed to cause more harm than good. Of course, I believe in preventative healthcare and all that. I'm not practicing colon hydrotherapy or chugging blue algae and wheatgrass juice yet. (Notice I say yet. I can't predict how desperate I could get in the future!) He also wants me to keep a detailed headache calender and a food diary. Some sort of spares for a little headache and strikes for a bad headache marking system. I figured, they are all bad headaches! What's the difference?
He told me to try to avoid: wine (even in recipes), aged cheeses, MSG (no more Chinese takeout), chocolate, and hot dogs (and all other nasty meats, or even deli meats, or even pepperoni). The nasty meat and MSG thing, maybe I can see. But cheese? Chocolate? C'mon! I felt like saying, I came to you for help and you are just trying to add more misery to my life! I have eliminated wine already, but I do like to use it in cooking. And this means no pizza? No Vermont sharp white cheddar? No Parmesan? No chocolate chip cookies? No mochas? No salted caramel hot chocolate from Starbucks? No Cadbury Dairy Milk with almond bars? NO REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUPS?????????????
I guess I am trying to lose weight. Maybe this is all working together for the good!