Planned Rebellion

Jonathan is always telling me about what he is going to do when he grows up. The other day he told me that as soon as he grows up, he is going to fill his bathtub all the way up until it overflows and floods the bathroom. Just because he has always wanted to do that.
This is my sweet 6 year old who rarely ever gets in trouble here at home and never at school. But underneath, there is a rebellion brewing. He is going to wait until he is an adult, of course, because he knows when you are a grown-up you can do whatever you want. He started thinking about all the different things he was going to do years ago. It started with all the dogs he wanted to own. Then he decided he also wanted to own snakes (because I have put my foot down. NO SNAKES. {those of you who know, might recall that I had a strict NO RODENT policy, but am now the disgusted owner of 2 gerbils} BUT MARK MY WORDS: There will be NO snakes in this household!)
Today he got in the car and said, "Mama. Where do you buy guns?"
"Why would you ask that {She replies calmly, as she tries to avoid wrecking the car or running off the road in reaction to the fact that my son wants to buy a gun (we are NOT gun people)}?"
"Because I want one."
{She is freaking out and cursing the day she ever put him in public school (and just a sidenote: I LOVE public school. It is just convenient to blame them whenever my parenting seems to be lacking or my kids are wandering astray) because now her darling, passive boy wants to PURCHASE a firearm, and she knew KNEW KNEW that buying a house in such close proximity to Ammo Attic was eventually going to bring her whole family down!}
"Why WOULD YOU WANT ONE? {followed closely with} I am not going to tell you were you buy guns WE don't buy guns in this family."
And what does he say in reply?
"That's fine {looking out the window nonchalantly} I will just ask the police officer next time he comes to school."
WHAT!?
I calm myself down. I tell him that you buy guns at a gun store, but that we will never have a gun in our house, but when he grows up, he will be able to buy a gun if he so chooses.
THEN he says:
"Oh, good, because I really want to get a BB gun and practice hitting targets."
Well, Good Lord. Did I overreact or what? Way to act cool, huh?
So getting a BB gun is on his list now. Which is a reasonable thing to want to own. And when I consider the other things on his list, I really should think about how I really should not be taking him so seriously.
Here are some of the things he wants to do when he grows up:
-The aforementioned strategic bathtub overflowing/ bathroom flooding
-Wants to stick his feet in the toilet
-Wants to poop on the floor, just one time (this is Anna's personal favorite)
-Never go to school or work just stay home and play video games
-Have a mailbox with sharp teeth on it
-Possess a house-guarding dragon (this is my personal favorite)
-Have dogs and cats and snakes in his house
-Have a truck he can just drive right in his house (is this sort of Batman-inspired?)
-Have a ghost he can decorate his mailbox with at Christmas time (that is really, really wrong!)