ATM

We pulled up at an ATM this afternoon to make a deposit. A man who was using the ATM spit on the ground. I detest spitting men. My Mom always said never hang out with a boy who spits. She was right. I said something about it. Jon told me, "I want to spit on the ground when I grow up." I said, "Don't come back home to Mama's house and spit!" And "Girls won't like you if you spit. It's nasty!"
Anna chimes in with, "Mama, I don't want a wife!"
And then, "I mean, no, I mean, I don't want a father!"
Followed with, in complete exasparation at being unable to find the right word,
"Wait! I mean, I don't want a MAN!"
Meanwhile, Dave is outside the car making the deposit. He comes back to the car, and catches Jonathan saying,
"Mama, I don't want to have a wife so I can spit for fun!"
Dave mishears this and says,
"You don't want to have a wife so you can spend your money?"
(To which, I playfully smack him upside the head for suggesting that when you have a wife you don't get to spend your own money!)
Then Jon clarifies,
"NO! So I can SPIT FOR FUN!"
Dave is not a spitter (one of the reasons I married him) and he just doesn't get it. He starts saying, "It really makes no sense to get rid of water that your body could use..."
Then the kids notice another man has gone up to the ATM machine and stepped right where the spitter spat. Jonathan says, "Eww! Gross! He just stepped in that other guy's spit!"
EXACTLY!