Memories

Anna's First Steps! January 2007! We still had our Christmas train up and she put my scarf on and started walking. I think maybe she thought it helped her balance. Above, me hugging her right after she toddled over to me.
Early 2007. Back in sweeter times, when they didn't battle constantly. Watching TV together. Jonathan still had his "space boots" on from his surgery.
My birthday last summer. We had such a great trip to Amelia Island. It seems like that was SUCH a long time ago. This year has been so long but so brief at the same time.
My BFF Lara brought her 3 boys down right before my birthday last summer. Anna and Henry fell asleep in the car together. Aren't they cute? Wouldn't they make a cute married couple?

Again at Amelia Island, my last birthday. This was the BEST smoothie we've ever had. Maybe because it was almost 100 degrees out. This trip was so much fun that I want to go there again. But I can't decide if we could recapture the fun, or if we would go and say, Oh, this just isn't as much fun as last time. Yes, I have to quantify and compare my fun.
Jonathan and Trystan being crazy cousins together. 2009? I think.
Anna going down the slide at Sea World. 2009.

Well, enough reminiscing... Jonathan just told me, "Mama, there's no wipes cause Anna stole the wipes and brought it to the other bathroom."

In the other room, Anna cackles evilly.

Is this normal sibling behavior? You know your brother is taking a poo so you run in and kidnap the toilet paper and hide it in the other bathroom?

Now she just turned sweet again, and brought him his vitamins.
"Bubba, I am worried about you. You haven't taken your vitamins in a 100 years. Here, take some!"
To which he replied: "While I am POOPING?"
The kid has a point. I think that is probably something you could find a rulebook to life somewhere, Thou shall not take vitamins while on the pooper.
Oh, and since I just kept typing and didn't get up, Anna brought him a roll. Now they are giggling hysterically. Now they are fighting. BEDTIME!

That's My Boy!

Jonathan doesn't have many days left in K. I can't believe how much progress he has made! He has had so much growth this past year. In every way. He is way taller, way more self-reliant, he can read and write and do math, he is so much more independent. He has spent more time away from me than he ever has and it has made him stronger. I have seen moments where he wanted to cry and stay with me and he sucked it up and carried on, getting out of the car, squaring his shoulders, lifting his chin, and walking himself right into school. Dealing with the occasional mean kid has also been good for him, even though I hated that he had to deal with it. His skin is tougher, and thicker, and therefore more protective, I think.
I remember a time, summers ago, when he couldn't bring himself to jump off the diving board at swim lessons, and I told the lifeguard to go ahead and throw him off. This isn't typically my parenting style, but I knew he could do it. I wanted him to know he could do it. I didn't want a whole year to pass with him thinking, I was one of the only kids who couldn't do that. The look on his face when he had conquered that fear brought tears to my eyes. He was so proud of himself. He told me later that he wasn't brave enough because he was too scared. And I told him that anytime he will need to be brave in life he will also be scared, but he will do it anyway. That's what being brave is.
I know some aspects of this school year have been worrisome and a bit of a stretch for him, and that has been so good for him. I am SO proud of him. His teacher sent home a reading assessment she did on Friday. He read 66 words in 1 minute and had 100% accuracy. I can't believe this! He knows most of his consonant blends and can sound out almost any word. I think watching him gain mastery in reading, writing, math, and art over the past year has been a cooler and more exciting time than watching him learn to crawl, talk and walk. He knows his stack of sight words upside down (literally, I am really bad at putting the stack away correctly).
I am so proud of him for all the progress he has made and also grateful that he has had such an excellent and professional teacher. She has placed a high value on literacy, and this has enabled Jonathan to become a rather fluent reader. I feel that being able to read well is the most valuable thing my children can ever learn in school. She has placed an emphasis on self-reliance and independence, and this has been invaluable. And even if she has not been a cuddly teddy bear of a teacher (like my own Kindergarten teacher was), she has created a safe and calm atmosphere where the kids know what to expect. While we have had our moments over the past school year, as some of our more loyal readers may know;), I honestly believe that I couldn't have paid for a better teacher or a better first year of school for our son. Way to go, Brevard Public Schools!

Friday

Anna and Jonathan being brainwashed by PBSkids.org. They were watching a segment on the evils of regular white flour. They look so much alike in this picture. They definitely share some mannerisms and facial expressions. Below, you can see Jonathan showing off his bandaged fingers.
We had something sort of frightening happen this afternoon. Jonathan made a bad choice and decided to use a kitchen knife to cut a door in one of his houses he makes out of boxes. Dave had told him to wait a minute and he would do it. But once he gets focused on something like this, he can't seem to stop. He had been working on this box house since he got home from school and he was very fixed on getting that door cut. He cut his left index finger pretty badly. It was bleeding A LOT at first. I thought we might need to take him to get stitches. We called my Dad and he came right over and looked at it and told us it was fine. It was just soaking through so many paper towels at first, and I couldn't apply too much pressure because he was howling in pain. I am normally really good in bloody situations, but I have never seen that much blood come out of one of my kids before. It was not good. I was feeling pretty woozy and sick. We got the bleeding mostly stopped, washed it, and put band-aids on it. At that point, Jon was just so happy he didn't have to have stitches... Me too. We gave him some Motrin about an hour after it happened because it seemed to be swelling. Anna was totally white and pale and when I told her to get dressed with shoes on in case we had to go to the doctor, she ran and did it. I was glad to see that she was so concerned about her brother and that she was smart enough to understand that she needed to get herself ready quickly. Anyways, about 90 minutes later, and he is back to his frantic illustrating. He rarely plays with toys anymore, just draws and draws.

He did this one at school today during center time. It got all crumpled up in his backpack. It is an undersea picture, and you might be able to see the sea horses, the lobsters, the seal, shark, whale, and all the fish. I think it is fantastic.

Two of the above are some of his Spongebob Squarepants pictures. Can you see Sandy and Patrick? Spongebob's pineapple house? I always ask him how he thinks of what to draw, and he just shrugs and says, "I just think of them in my head." He has really been into creating what he calls "worlds" and also designing his own video game scenarios. This is so interesting from the kid who would never color as a toddler and preschooler, and who had to be coerced into cooperating in VPK art projects last year. All of the sudden, something just switched on. The other day he lost his video game privileges and he told me, "It's OK, Mama, because I can just play the video game in my head." He is right! I definitely can't control what goes on in there!
Dave and I got to go on our date morning today. We went to a new Thai place and it was surprisingly good. I got red curry vegetables, and it was so spicy and coconut creamy. We both loved our food and the leftovers made good dinner for us tonight. After we had lunch, we walked over to Marshall's. And I found the most beautiful black Michael Kors handbag. It had to be mine. I fell in love with a similiar one last summer, and talked myself out of purchasing it. Then I realized I was wrong, and I went back there (and OK, to several other stores like it) trying to find that bag. But it was gone. So when I found this bag today, and it was even more beautiful and perfect than the one from last summer, I purchased it. At a steep discount from its original price. Its original price was about half of our monthly mortgage for our house. I would never pay that much for a purse. And normally I wouldn't even pay as much as I did, but I did. It is so gorgeous. I can't even transfer my stuff into it yet. It is just that fabulous. I think I will have to look through my current stuff and decide which things are really worthy to be transferred into the new bag. Right now I just have it set up in my room. You know, with a little circle of candles around it. ;)
Also, Dave bought me a really cute dress. I have only been going to Weight Watchers for about three weeks, but I already feel a lot better about myself. I don't think it is that I've really lost that much weight (weigh-in is tomorrow!) but that I am feeling like I have regained control of myself, and I feel like I am doing something positive. Instead of just obsessing over my flappy arm fat and multiple chins and wondering to myself, how much would liposuction cost, just for my big toes? I think that is what WW does for me. It brings me out of my place of insanity and into a place of positivity. Self-hatred is destructive and it just makes me gain more weight. And it is just not right to think about getting your toes lipo-ed while driving down the road and eating a Krispy Kreme. This much I know.

Anna's Haircut

Taken before we got in the car to go to Snip-it's. We've been growing out her bangs forever, and I've been trying to leave the length of her hair alone until ballet recital in May, but I decided it was making us both miserable, and if they REALLY need my 4 year old's hair to be in a ballerina bun, then maybe my 4 year old doesn't need to be one of their ballerinas. So...
We got it cut. I watched with pride and irritation as she let Miss Minnie comb through it, cut it, blow it dry, and then use a curling iron on it. WHAT?! I can't even go near her with a brush and she is screeching. Hence the haircut! But...
She was so proud of how she looked. She felt really special! But when I look at this picture, I think, gee, this really doesn't look like my girl Anna. Where's my girl who doesn't like hair bows (because as she says, I don't need them. I am already beautiful.) and who won't pose for pictures (because as she says, I'm too busy!)? Where did that girl go?
Oh, yes. Found her! Here she is.

Anna's and Jon's Bendaroos

(written by Dave)

Today we went to Jonathan's school Family Fun day. While we were there we bought Anna a book that had a story board to arrange on each page and we bought Jonathan a box of Bendaroos. They are basically bendy, sticky, colorful sticks that can be arranged into shapes. When we got home I helped Jonathan create a Goldfish from the directions. I also helped AnnA with her story board. Later, Anna wanted to create her own bendaroo creation, but in true Anna style, she had no use for directions. I think both of my kids did a good job. Personally, I cringe inside when I touch sticky things, but don't tell my kids. POSTSCRIPT written by Jamie: Anna also chose to color outside of the lines, in true Anna style, by using the WALL as media rather than paper. But she really did a great job. I especially love the 2 balloons on either side.

Jonathan This Week

Each figure lined up on top of the different colored platforms is a Jon. He wrote along the top: I like my Jons. Then one of the little figures says: I like me! I think this picture reflects how he feels about himself. What do you all think? It also has something to do with Mario, because everything for Jon has something to do with Mario.


They made these at Jonathan's school. Or, rather, they grew these at Jonathan's school. It is a pantyhose leg with googly eyes attached. There is soil inside and the roots are all flat on the bottom. I don't know what the grass is called but it is so pretty and green. The kids are both interested in growing stuff right now. Jonathan is trying to grow a cactus garden in the bathroom window and he is remembering to take care of it by himself. Anna is growing a plant in a plastic egg container in the bathroom window.
On the day he brought his grass home.

Reciprocity

Tonight I was putting Anna and Jonathan to bed. Usually when I put them to bed, I snuggle between them (even though they both have their own rooms, they choose to sleep together in the queen size bed in Anna's room) and read them several stories and sing them songs. Some of my best memories are from putting them to bed. This is where they usually say the funniest or sweetest things. This is where, when the lights are out, and they have the safety that comes with being drowsy and in a dark room, they normally tell me if something is really bothering them. Like Jonathan's tearful confession that he had become a clip mover guy (and my response of, "So what? You are the same great kid you have always been. Mama loves you the same no matter how you act." {I think we had made SUCH a big deal over his good behavior award, which he got for never having his clip moved, that when he messed up and had his clip moved he thought that it would also be SUCH a big deal. Like maybe our love of him was based on how many days he kept his clip on green.}) For those just tuning in, if you get your clip moved, it is like the old school method of getting your name on the board. Every color your clip gets moved, basically you are more out of control and there are more consequences. The goal is to stay in the green. Jon got moved to yellow a few times and I guess he walked around for weeks in a state of anxiety and guilt before he broke down and told me. Poor guy.
Anyways, bedtime routine. These are the minutes I spend with them in a week that I can look back and mark as quality time. And these are where I usually find the moments that make me feel like maybe I am doing a decent job as a mom. Most of the time I qualify myself as a "just good enough" type of mom. Like, okay, their socks don't match, but their shoes, do, right? Check! Or, so their breakfast was in a bag and handed over the front seat to them, but did they have something to eat for breakfast, yes? Check! Or, so Anna's hair looks embarrassingly unkempt, but I won the socks and shoes battle AND we got out the door on time, AND no one is crying? Check! Check! Check! I give myself checks not for being stellar or impressive, but just getting through each station of each day until it is time to come back home again, go to bed, and start all over. I don't know why I operate this way. I don't know if I have just been in survival mode for so long that I can't ever figure out how to change, or if it just my personality, or if I am just a little teensy bit lazy (highly possible), or what, but this is just how we roll. My car is always a disaster. My house is always too cluttered. My kids walk into church looking pretty sorry some weeks. (But I can assure you of this, if they look bad, I look worse! If they look bad, it is not because I neglected them and spent an hour flat-ironing my hair and getting all gussied up or anything!)
So... tonight I started to tell the kids something that Dave and I learned about in a parenting class we went to last night. I had actually heard something almost just like it from Dr. Phil (maybe the only thing smart thing I've ever heard him say???) and I have often said it to Jonathan as he has grown up, before he goes to sleep at night...Out of all of the boys that God could have given me, how did I ever get so lucky, that He decided to give me you?
The thing from the parenting class was something like this: If I lined ALL of the little boys up in the ENTIRE world, I would always choose you. So I started to tell Jonathan and Anna that tonight. I told them, Mama and Daddy are so grateful that we have you both. If all the little boys and all of the little girls in the entire world were lined up, and I could pick any one I wanted, I would ALWAYS choose you.
Do you know what Anna said, right away? If I could line all the Mamas up in the whole world, I would pick you!
And do you know what Jonathan said, right away? Well, if I could line up all of the Daddys in the whole world, I would pick David. I would always pick our Daddy.
And do you know what I said, right away? You know, if I could have picked any Daddy in the whole world, I would pick your Daddy too. He is just right and I am so glad he is your Daddy.
And do you know what Anna said, right away? And Daddy would always pick YOU, Mama!
I guess that is about as good as it gets in a family. Each of us believing, with all of our hearts, that if we could have our pick out of anyone in the whole world, we would always choose each other for our team.
Reciprocity.

Kentucky, Part 3

The Easter Bunnies Three. Dave, Meredith and Me.
Easter Sunday. This is the Kentuckian tradition of beating ashes with big sticks. Jonathan and Anna started it. I think this was the most fun they had on Easter... why did I buy all those eggs and candy? All they needed were some big sticks and a pile of ashes. The best things in life are free.
I don't know what Anna is doing in this picture, but she looks cute, right? I like how her hair and her dress ribbon had come all unraveled. Somehow, I uploaded these pictures in the wrong order. So at the bottom of this post you can see how she started out the day relatively neat and tidy.
Anna and her Aunt Meredith playing some sort of flower game... Rooster head? Meredith?
Jonathan and Anna looking fierce with their sticks.
Dave with his Mom and Granny.
Dave and Jonathan with Granny.
Jonathan on the porch swing. He had a button down shirt to wear on Easter Sunday, but when I put it on him he told me that it made him feel all gross and naked. So, we went with the Polo (or as Anna calls them, Evil Goat shirts.)
Jonathan with his great-Granny.
Anna checking out her Easter egg hunt haul.
OK, I really uploaded these in the wrong order. This is where they were both running around trying to find the eggs.
Jonathan combing over the flowers by the house. One of the Easter bunnies (me) gave him a hint that Anna had missed several in this area.

Ready, set, go! Anna and Jon taking off to find the Easter eggs. Grandma Jane got these baskets down, and told the kids that they belonged to her kids when they were growing up. I think these two pictured belonged to Meredith and Chris. But when Anna heard this, she asked Grandma Jane, "Oh, did your kids die?" I think she picked up on the hint of sadness/sentimentality in Grandma's voice that her babies are all grown up.
Mama and Anna before church started. It was so nice to be back at Clear Creek where we got married. I think it is such a beautiful church.
Um, I had heels on in this picture! Do you see how tall my boy is getting? He grew an inch in 2 months. He is going to be bending down to hug me before I know it. Thankfully so, because something would be a little wrong if he doesn't grow taller than 5 foot 2 inches.
Anna and Jon outside the church. I love this picture. They call each other Annie and Jonny sometimes and I think it is so cute. Of course, as I type this, they are having a fight in the other room. Something about a chair. I can't seem to get them to understand that I BOUGHT THEM THE EXACT SAME CHAIR. I can't seem to get them to understand that there are TWO OF THESE CHAIRS. Anyways, deep breath, I am just going to look at this picture and meditate on how cute they are.
This is Anna's "I don't want to have my picture taken and I will show you that both in my facial expression and my drooping body posture pose." Isn't it cute?
Okay. This might be my favorite. Jonathan with his hands in his pockets and talking to me, and the way Anna has her leg out and her chin down... This is just totally one of those totally authentic pictures. I love it. And see how patient Dave is trying to be even though the sun is in his eyes and I have dragged the before church photo shoot out way too long???

Kentucky, Part 2

The kids had so much fun when Grandma Jane let them have an outdoor fire. They loved finding sticks and breaking them into smaller sticks. Anna found this stick, above, and said, I found a cross!

Anna bringing the newspaper for the fire.
Jonathan on the hammock. The kids loved all of the free play time outdoors. They don't get enough of it down here. I don't ever feel safe to just let them play outside here.
Anna on the swing. She is starting to figure out how to pump her legs and swing herself.
I know her hair really bothers both Grandmas... but to be honest, I sort of like it all wild and free. Or maybe I just dislike all of the screeching and crying and power struggles that go on just to get ONE tiny barrette in it.

When Jonathan was a toddler and I was pregnant with Anna, we flew to Kentucky and visited Grandma Jane. He loved to play with this bat and ball set then. It is funny how it has gotten so much smaller since then... ;)
Jonathan, Grandma Jane's, Summer of 2005... They grow up so fast. I always heard people say that but I never really got it before I had kids. Watching them grow up is so bittersweet. Sweet because that's your job, to usher them forward through babyhood, toddler-hood, preschool years, school years, and beyond, and every time they pass another milestone, you feel so proud. But bitter because all that time is behind you now, and you can't get it back. The best thing about going on family vacations is that there is a huge disruption to your normal routine, and it forces you to stop and notice, to slow down and really take a look, and also, since everything is different, you make more memorable memories. Going back to Kentucky reminded me of all the other times we have been there. When Jonathan was just crawling, and then back a few months later, and he was walking. Then back the next summer with Anna in my belly. Back again when Anna was one and wandering around the yard eating sweet clover. 2 summers ago when Anna was 2 and Jonathan was 4, and then a blink of an eye, and now they are 4 and 6 and growing up so fast.