Yesterday

Jonathan got some molding clay from school yesterday. He made these creations with it. He asked Dave for a toothpick because he needed to do some detail work.

Anna brought this home last week. She made it at preschool, and it says: Love is... "Mommy loves me to the moon and back!" We had had a really bad morning before I dropped her off to school, and when I pulled this out of her backpack, I just melted! I always say this to the kids... Mama loves you to the moon and back. It started when Jon was a tot and I would tell him that I loved him "to infinity and beyond." (He was going through his Buzz Lightyear stage). Somehow it turned into to the moon and back. Anyways, when I saw this, I said, "Oh, Anna! Thank you so much!" And we hugged and she said, "I knew it! I knew that was really the truth. You always love me." (Meaning, even though we had such a terrible morning, you still love me the same.) Jonathan wanted to know what the biggest number was, and was a zillion really a number? Dave looked it up and they learned about a googol, so now the kids are really into saying this. Anna told me yesterday that she loves me a hundred zillion million GOOGOL times! 'Cause that's really a lot! Gosh, my family is so delightfully dorky.
"Dear Mom,
May I please have an iguana? I promise to take care of him and clean his cage.
Love, Jonathan"
Jonathan won the Creative Writer award for this nine weeks at school yesterday. We are so proud!
This was me putting Jonathan in a headlock to get him to pose for a picture with me. He really enjoys being in front of the camera and being affectionate. Not. The other day we were holding hands in the parking lot and he suddenly shook my hand off because he saw a group of older kids. I hate that he is starting to care what others think already, but at the same time, I am glad he can follow those kind of social cues. Like if you hold hands with your Mom past a certain age, people will make fun of you. He already understands the elaborate guidelines that govern which shirts are okay and which shirts are unwearable. Somehow knowing all of these unwritten rules makes getting through the school age years a lot easier.
This was me posing for a picture to show off my hair. I just had it cut and highlighted yesterday. That smile is totally fake and makes me look a bit crazed. I had a partial foil done just all around the front and top layers of my hair. I went to a new lady, Kelley at Pixie's Salon, and thank goodness I convinced her to alternate brown low-lights with blonde hi-lights, because I would have REALLY blonde hair right now otherwise. And since I leave the underneath part alone, it would look really strange without the low-lights. Anyways, I am sure this is totally fascinating to everyone, but I am going to stop typing about my hair now. Sorry, guys.

Today

Today we went to the free cone day at our local Ben and Jerry's. Jon and Anna call it "Tom and Jerry's." I think this is so darling that I never correct them. I was trying to keep them from hearing the real name while we were in line (which was probably 50 people deep, at least).

Today Anna kept running into the road. I scream at her to stop. She loves this reaction. It is probably the only time I ever scream at her. Today I told her that I was going to have to get her a leash and a harness. She said, I am not a DOG, Mama! I told her that she was acting dumb like a dog, and since it is my job to keep her safe, I will get her a harness and a leash if need be. I told her that she is very smart but she was choosing to act like a dumb dog who has no sense and just runs out in front of cars. This REALLY ticked her off. Actually she reminds me of a dog when she tries to run away in a parking lot or the street. If I chase her, it just makes her run away faster. I have to just freeze and scream. Of course, if she is within arm's length, I will grab her. But she can outrun me. And she knows this. I normally don't spank either of our kids, but one day at school she ran in front of an SUV, giggling and squealing gleefully at the great fun she was having giving Mama a heart attack. I had already warned her twice that morning, and at my wit's end, I took her in the bathroom and spanked her. I pretty much had to since I had threatened her with it. I foolishly thought the threat would be enough to keep her from running in front of any cars for the 20 more feet we had to walk to get into her preschool. But no. So, she got a little spank. She was shocked. She sat down and yelled at me, Stupid Mama! THAT HURT! I told her, Yes, but getting run over by a truck would hurt a lot more! To which she replied, "But I didn't get run over by a truck! But you DID spank me! And THAT HURT!" I think to her, this made a lot of sense. And if you think really hard, it sort of does make sense.

Today we were talking in the car about how the kids were both going to be VERY good at Mama's doctor appointment, and what consequences there would be if they were misbehaved. When Jon heard that I would take away TV for the day, he thought for a second, and then he told me: Mama, couldn't you just spank me instead? I would much rather have that than lose TV time. Of course, I told him, No. You can't put in discipline requests. I would feel a little ridiculous spanking Jonathan. He is almost as tall as me now. And he is just too grown up and reasonable.

Today when we were at the doctor's office, Jonathan held my purse for me while I stepped on the scale. He is trying to figure out how to read big numbers. I saw him staring at the display and trying to figure it out, and I told him, Jonathan! Don't you dare tell ANYONE that number. Of course, that just made him REALLY want to know the number. He thought he had it right and he guessed, was it 9400 pounds? I told him no. That is like how much a really big whale would weigh. He just stared at me blankly, like, so what's your point? Thanks a lot, kiddo.

Today we were at the doctor's office and they have a really neat aquarium. We stopped to study it, and we were talking about the different fish and which ones we liked best and so on... Anna kept saying, I like the pink ones the best. I kept saying, Anna, honey, there aren't any pink ones. What about those ones with the blue stripes? She kept insisting that SHE LIKED THE PINK ONES BEST. And I kept telling her, there aren't any pink fish. She was getting pretty irritated about it. Jonathan spotted a strange looking fish and I bent down to look at it... and what did I see? A whole bunch of pink fish. I just couldn't see them from my viewpoint. But when I squatted down to Anna's level, I saw that there were indeed pink fish, and they were very pretty. Oops.

Easter Party

Who does Anna look like in this picture? I can't figure it out. Dave and I think it might be his sister Meredith? I think it reminds me of a picture I've seen of someone. Anyone know?

Our baby doll wasn't feeling very well. We had to leave the party a little early. But we HAD to go, because she was looking forward to it so much.


Jonathan loved collecting Easter eggs. But even more exciting, he found a real baseball at this park, which edges a baseball field. He and Anna wanted to play catch in the house with it and did not not understand when my Mom and I said, NO! They were like, what, we've already been doing it all the time? Jonathan also set up a tiny miniature golf course in his room, using a cardboard box, his baseball, and a foam ax. It's all fun and games until a window gets broken, right?
I love my snaggle-toothed little guy. Kids are so cute at this age.
Jonathan and Anna really enjoyed the Easter egg craft. It was such a nice party! Lilah's mommy did a great job.

GPS

After I was lost in the wilderness of Palm Bay 3 times last week, I sent Dave a message saying, "OK, I give up. Get me a GPS."
So... he got me a GPS. This morning was the first time I had it in the car with the kids.
Anna asked me what it was and I said, "Oh, it's a GPS! This way we won't get lost."
Jonathan said, "NO! It won't help us not get lost. It will just help us drive right into a lake."
Um, what?
"You know, like on The Office! They kept listening to it tell them where to go and they drove right into a stupid lake."
I just had to laugh. I didn't even realize he ever paid attention to that show! I told him that mommy was smarter than those guys, and he just looked at me and my little GPS doubtfully. I think Jonathan will feel much more relaxed when he can just drive the car himself. Just. like. Dave.

Jonathan

Every night Jonathan asks to go to bed because his teacher told him he should get 10 hours of sleep and he wants to make sure that he does. He remembers to brush his teeth, and use mouthwash, and floss, because they had dental education week at his school and he took the whole thing to heart.
Every day after school he asks to do his homework. He always reminds me and wants to get it done first so he can play. His play is also like work (although he is having fun). Either he is drawing, and drawing, and drawing some more, and writing captions under his drawings, or he is constructing. Sometimes with Legoes, sometimes just with boxes and random pieces of junk.
Every weekend he asks, "Do we have any parties this weekend? How many stay at home days do we have?" This Friday I told him none and he was pretty ticked about Dave's birthday because he told me I had told them there would be no parties. He really values his stay home time and thinks that weekends and evenings should be spent entirely at home.
Every morning he asks if "Please can we go to school? I have a big work project to do and I need to get started on it." He has anxiety about getting to school early because he wants to get a jumpstart on his morning work, because if he doesn't then he might get behind for the whole day.
Every Monday, he asks me every twenty minutes if it is time for horseback riding lessons yet. He LOVES his lessons. He never slacks off on getting Buttercup ready or grooming her after he rides her. He likes the work. Even as a baby, we always thought of him as very industrious.
This morning, I went in his room and turned on his light. He asked me, bleary-eyed, "Mama, is your headache feeling better?" First words out of his mouth. And sometimes at dinner, he will say, "Mama, thank you for cooking this. It is good."
Do you see his halo? Because I swear I can see it, just a little bit? What a fantastic kid. Sometimes I have to work on getting him not to take stuff so seriously! But God gave him that kind of heart and mind and I am grateful. It certainly makes parenting him easy.

Happy Birthday, DD!

Today is my David's birthday. He is 32! He says he doesn't feel old yet since his wife is still in her 20s. (For three more months.)
We had a birthday get-together at my Mom's for him. She made dinner and a chocolate sheet cake. I don't trust myself alone with her chocolate sheet cake. I think I could just eat the whole thing. It is more sweet than chocolate and I swear I think it gives me some sort of high. Anyways, off topic!
Anna and Jonathan helped me go shopping for him, and they kept his present a secret (until the minute he was going to open it, and then Jonathan just had to whisper: IT'S A PHONE!). I bought him a new cell phone. He always gets the super cheap ones or just takes my hand me downs so I thought I would get him a new phone of his own. Also, it makes me feel guilty that my phone is so much nicer than his. So now we have the exact same phone! And he can text me all the time! ALL THE TIME! So it is a gift that makes me feel better about myself and is also self-serving... Gosh, I am great wife. It is a good thing I am still in my twenties, or he might not want to put up with me. ;)
Today I was driving Jonathan home from school. From the back seat, he told me: "Mama. The sign said to go 35. So why are you going 40?" Just like his Daddy. Into following rules.
Yesterday when we were at Target getting stuff for Dave's birthday, Anna was helping me unload the cart at checkout. She stuck his two cards (she picked one out that had a very flamboyantly dressed cat; Jonathan selected one from The Onion with a mock headline about alligators being dangerous no matter how drunk you are) up on the belt, and I said, "Anna, what about the envelopes?"
She said, "The envelopes don't have any barcodes on them, Mama. We don't NEED to put them up there, just the cards."
Oh, well EXCUSE ME!
She also wrapped her Daddy's gift quite well, using an excessive amount of tape. Our children both adore wasting tape.

Donuts for Daddies

Yesterday they had Donuts for Daddies at Anna's school. Anna made that tie Dave was wearing. (Just in case you couldn't figure that out and thought Dave just has a really unique sense of fashion.)

Kindergarten

Every week Jonathan brings home a huge bundle of papers and projects from school. I am always really impressed at the work he produces, especially in math.

I pull some of the work out to keep every week.
Here are some examples of what they are doing in K in a regular old public school in Florida:
*Comparing Solid and Plane Figures (draw a line from the solid figure to the plane figure it makes)
*Using Logical Reasoning to Find Lines of Symmetry
*Attributes of Plane Figures (Use pattern blocks to make each shape shown on worksheet; then trace the blocks to show which shapes you used)
*Halves and Fourths (circle objects that show halves; circle objects that show fourths)
*Word Families: _ap, _ug, _oat, _ake

He talks about classifying and categorizing objects. They are always working with graphs. Last week he brought home Venn diagrams. I can't believe the work they do! When I was in K, we learned one letter sound per week, pretty much stayed focused on beginning sounds, and maybe learned to write our name. Mostly we learned not to pee in our pants and eat glue and paste. I can't believe the work he brings home!

Anna

Today we were driving in the car and Anna said:

Do you know in some other state when you go to school you have to take your shoes off?

You just leave them by the front door. But they let you leave your socks on.

(She learned about other cultures lately at p-school, so I am assuming this is where this came from.)


While I was helping Jonathan with his homework tonight, Anna was busy making cards for EVERYONE in our family. Including Aunt Americus (that's you, Meredith!) and Unca Kiss (Chris, who is now more correctly known as Ella's Daddy, according to Anna). Yesterday I thought it was so sweet that she was naming her pet rock Cory, after my brother. But she kept getting mad at me, and saying, NO! CORY! Finally she said (with MUCH attitude), You know? Like hair? And she made a curly-q motion with her hand. Then I finally got it. So her pet rock is named Curly, which makes sense since it is rocking an awesome head of springy red hair.

Is it a little wrong that I secretly don't want her speech problem to go away? I mean, she is going to "peach gas" two times a week and she is making improvements. More people can understand more of what she is saying... but I just think her little voice is SO cute. I guess the day she can enunciate perfectly will be the day she really grows up, and goes off to, sniff, Kindergarten...

Okay. Never mind. She interrupted her cuteness just now when she shrieked from the living room, without stopping to breathe for air: Whateveritisyou'remakingfordinnerIdon'tlikeitand IDON'TwantitandIWON'Teatit.
So, that little tidbit? Wasn't so cute, even with the darling speech problem.

Planned Rebellion

Jonathan is always telling me about what he is going to do when he grows up. The other day he told me that as soon as he grows up, he is going to fill his bathtub all the way up until it overflows and floods the bathroom. Just because he has always wanted to do that.
This is my sweet 6 year old who rarely ever gets in trouble here at home and never at school. But underneath, there is a rebellion brewing. He is going to wait until he is an adult, of course, because he knows when you are a grown-up you can do whatever you want. He started thinking about all the different things he was going to do years ago. It started with all the dogs he wanted to own. Then he decided he also wanted to own snakes (because I have put my foot down. NO SNAKES. {those of you who know, might recall that I had a strict NO RODENT policy, but am now the disgusted owner of 2 gerbils} BUT MARK MY WORDS: There will be NO snakes in this household!)
Today he got in the car and said, "Mama. Where do you buy guns?"
"Why would you ask that {She replies calmly, as she tries to avoid wrecking the car or running off the road in reaction to the fact that my son wants to buy a gun (we are NOT gun people)}?"
"Because I want one."
{She is freaking out and cursing the day she ever put him in public school (and just a sidenote: I LOVE public school. It is just convenient to blame them whenever my parenting seems to be lacking or my kids are wandering astray) because now her darling, passive boy wants to PURCHASE a firearm, and she knew KNEW KNEW that buying a house in such close proximity to Ammo Attic was eventually going to bring her whole family down!}
"Why WOULD YOU WANT ONE? {followed closely with} I am not going to tell you were you buy guns WE don't buy guns in this family."
And what does he say in reply?
"That's fine {looking out the window nonchalantly} I will just ask the police officer next time he comes to school."
WHAT!?
I calm myself down. I tell him that you buy guns at a gun store, but that we will never have a gun in our house, but when he grows up, he will be able to buy a gun if he so chooses.
THEN he says:
"Oh, good, because I really want to get a BB gun and practice hitting targets."
Well, Good Lord. Did I overreact or what? Way to act cool, huh?
So getting a BB gun is on his list now. Which is a reasonable thing to want to own. And when I consider the other things on his list, I really should think about how I really should not be taking him so seriously.
Here are some of the things he wants to do when he grows up:
-The aforementioned strategic bathtub overflowing/ bathroom flooding
-Wants to stick his feet in the toilet
-Wants to poop on the floor, just one time (this is Anna's personal favorite)
-Never go to school or work just stay home and play video games
-Have a mailbox with sharp teeth on it
-Possess a house-guarding dragon (this is my personal favorite)
-Have dogs and cats and snakes in his house
-Have a truck he can just drive right in his house (is this sort of Batman-inspired?)
-Have a ghost he can decorate his mailbox with at Christmas time (that is really, really wrong!)

Reality Check

I had JUST posted this as my Facebook status: Jamie can't believe how proud my kids make me every single day. They are just spectacular. I can't believe God gave me them. (Or something to that effect...)

At the exact moment I posted that status, Anna came up to me with a huge shred of wallpaper in her hand.

"Oh no, the wall came off."

(Notice how the wall takes the blame here. Not, "Oh, no, I tore the wall off." No, no, no, you see the wall came off.)

A few seconds later, with triumph in her voice:
"So that's what the wall looks like underneath there."

Sigh.

Dorito Toothpaste

Anna was snuggling up to me on the couch and talking to me... She had just finished a bag of Doritos chips. She was taking my hair, dividing in into two sections, and wrapping the two ends of it criss-cross around my neck. She likes to do that and she always says, "You look pretty this way, Mama."

(I probably do look better with my hair wrapped around my neck: it obstructs the view of my chin(s). Maybe that will become a hair style in the future? Fingers crossed. Seems more likely than me actually losing weight and double chin(s) at this point.)

Anyways... she was right in my face,with an orange Doritos-dust beard and mustache, breathing nacho cheese fumes on me, and I said, "Oh, Anna, I think you need to go brush your teeth!"

She said, "I just brushed my teeth, Mama!"

I gave her a look that said, simply: Liar!

She said, "No really! I brushed my teeth. But instead of the bubble gum or the minty ones, I used a new kind! It's called Dorito toothpaste!"

I started to say, "Anna... "

She carried on, "They mash up little bits of Dorito chips in it, and when you put it on your toothbrush you can see them! It works really good!"

I think Anna is going to be the type of grownup that will be able to convince anyone of anything she wants. Hopefully she will use this power of persuasion for good instead of evil...

And if she can market such a thing as nacho-cheese flavored toothpaste, with gritty ground up chips for extra polishing capabilities, then she will be unstoppable.

PS: On the topic of Doritos.... Doritos go in my category of foods that we think taste good, but actually taste like butt. I really think that if we weren't introduced to certain foods as children, we would not become susceptible to the chemical flavors, and they would taste terrible to us. I remember one of our French exchange students (or rather, a girl named Estelle who came for a summer visit and commandeered my bedroom) would have some of the worst reactions to our American food. Like Taco Bell? That was completely horrifying to her. Refried beans out of a can, spread on flour tortillas, microwaved with a little cheddar on top made her want to puke (our homemade version of Taco Bell!) Taco Bell, or TB, as we fondly referred to it, was a staple in our family. So many fond memories of that place... getting about 20 tacos and going to the beach and eating them, hearing the inevitable sand grit between my teeth (no matter how careful you are, if you eat at the beach, you are going to ingest a little sand); going through the drive thru every Sunday after church; heading out for late night TB runs, because sometimes you really need that extra 800 calories right before bed... I am sure if I had been sent to Paris at a similar age I would have had a hard time adjusting to their food culture. There are so many foods I had said my kids would never have: things like Doritos, hot dogs,corn dogs, McDonald's (Oh, come ON! Like that was ever going to work out!), soda, etc. But that would have meant that I would have had to stop eating them, I guess. And I love all of our nutritionally void, hyper-processed, chemically enhanced food. And my kids DO love all sorts of foods that are actually good for them.

Saturday

Anna and Jonathan were playing Restaurant together in her room this morning. She was serving food and tea to Jonathan and his Webkinz Crocodile. I love when I catch them playing together like this!


Anna climbed a vertical climbing wall that was pretty high to get to this slide. She did it over and over and over again. I was watching her climb... she is really good. I told her I think she will be a great rock climber someday.

Today Dave took Jonathan to a birthday party at Andretti Thrill Park. Jonathan had a lot of fun. His favorite thing to do there was the miniature golf. Dave and him played 18 holes, twice. Jonathan loved it. He did not want to go on the race cars because "they were too loud and smelled like gasoline."

I let Anna plan our day together. She said, FIRST we are going to the play place (Play Plus), THEN eat lunch, NEXT go to the park and ride my bike around. But FIRST go on the playground there. I let her pick our whatever she wanted for lunch... and she wanted Chili's. I was sort of puzzled by this, but decided to humor her. She told me on the way there that she "chose that place because they give you chips while you wait." Well, you do have to pay for the chips, but that is pretty much why I ever liked Chili's... I always have this problem after I eat there. My heart races (and I have palpitations) for hours, even up to a day after we go there. Plus, most of the time it makes me sick to my stomach. I always wonder why I pay to eat there and get semi-poisoned. But, it was fun to go with Anna. She loves their chicken crispers, and my goodness, who wouldn't? I swear they fry those in hush puppy batter.

When we passed by one of those check cashing places, she got all excited, "Look Mama! We are getting closer! We are passing by The Money Store! That's the place where they sell money!" I had no idea that was one of her landmarks, but I guess we do pass it an awful lot. I started to argue with her that it is not where they sell money, but then I thought, that is pretty much what they do there. We had a lot of fun together today. We were singing in the car together, and without Jonathan around, she didn't feel pressured to change all the lyrics to involve poop. It was kind of nice. Plus, there was no fighting in the back seat, because there was no one to fight with.

Jonathan just turned the TV on and was really happy when he found golf. Um, no, we aren't going to watch this! He can wait until Papa Larry comes over to watch golf with him.
Anna is squirming around on the couch, doing headstands and downward dog poses, saying, "Bubba, after he is done hitting it, is he going to get on the golf cart? I WANNA SEE A GOLF CART! This is SOOO boring!" She is also insisting that one of the golfers is a girl, which is irritating Jonathan. (He is rather built in his chest with an unusually narrow waist... I can kind of see her point!)

T-Pots/T-Cells

Yesterday Anna and Jon were carrying on a conversation about germs. I was just driving and listening to them. Jonathan was saying that germs were everywhere, even inside of our body, but some germs are good germs. And Anna agreed, she said that "some bacteria was good," and it said, "ATTTACKK!" when it needed to get rid of something bad. Jonathan said, "And wait, there is something else in our bodies that attack bad stuff... Tea-pots? Is that right, Mama? Tea-pots?" I was like, "Umm. We have T-cells." I thought, he can't be talking about T-cells. But no, he was. He was talking about t-cells. Why does my 6 year old know about t-cells? I am going to credit Sid the Science Kid. Maybe that's where they learned stuff about the immune system?
Anna told me that she went to "peach gas" the other day. This means "speech class." I am hoping that by the end of next year, she will be able to say speech instead of peach. But for now, it is just so stinking cute! I mean, she is already so adorable, and then there is her speech on top of it, it just makes her stinky cute! I almost can't stand it.
Today was Dr. Seuss' birthday so Jonathan colored and wore this hat at school. He told me while I was helping him with his homework today that he thinks reading is so much fun and that he is really good at school. (Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're probably right!) I love Jonathan's attitude and how he approaches problems so calmly. He doesn't get overwhelmed and give up.
On a more realistic note, the kids have gotten in two physical fights since they got home from school. But don't they look sweet in the picture?