Anna So Fabulous

She won't let me do her hair (or comb it); she insists on picking out her own clothes (which are often weather-inappropriate); she doesn't stay clean for very long... but let's face it, she's just got this fabulous quality. Nothing I do to adorn her or decorate her would matter anyways, she is just plain pretty all on her own. Anna So Fabulous, We Love YOU!

Teddy Bear Tea Party

*Thank you to Anna's teacher for taking and e-mailing this picture!*

Anna had her Teddy Bear Tea Party this morning at school! She knew just the bear she was going to take. She had him picked out earlier this week. She earned this bear when she was helping my Mom with a cleaning job. It is very special to her since she got it for working with Nona. The lady Mom cleans for thinks she is adorable (I mean, come on, look at the picture!) and gives her things here and there. Hopefully, the lady pays my Mom in check or cash, not stuffed animals. But to 4 year old Anna, a teddy bear is the best currency of all. The lady also gave her a really cute plush American Girl bathrobe. It will probably fit her appropriately when she is 7, but for now, it looks like a royal robe. She can be so regal at times. She has asked to take her bath and wants it ready so she can put it on immediately. It makes her happy because she doesn't even need a towel to dry off with. She has always wanted a bathrobe, she says, because Mama and Daddy have one. Daddy has the same one he has had since middle school. I think it is probably 15 years old, maybe more. It is pretty ratty but I always use his instead of mine. I am attached to it and I will be really sad when it finally disintegrates. We need to get Jonathan a bathrobe so he can fit in, but I can just imagine how much he would hate a bathrobe. I think he would probably say, that's stupid, why don't I just put my regular pajamas on right away? He probably wouldn't understand the need for this in-between, intermediate stage of clothing.

Anyways, Anna brought home from the tea party what I believe to be a teddy bear biscuit in aluminum foil. Jonathan tried it and said it tasted like a chicken nugget. Dave tried it and said it was more like brown sugar. I didn't try it, because I don't eat anything that comes home from school and was possibly cooked and handled by children (especially my own child!). Yet, I am the one who is always getting sick. Sigh...

My Date with Jon

Jonathan and I had a Date Night (occasionally, I take him somewhere, just me and him, and he calls it a date, I guess because of Dave and I going on dates) last night. Whenever we go on a date, I put his booster seat in the front seat next to me. He LOVES this... he finally gets to control all those buttons and dials that tantalize him so from the backseat. Now that he is reading so much, it is even more fun. He loves the scan button on the radio, and thinks we should always listen to music like this, because that way you get to hear so many more songs.


I just let him do whatever he wants with the a/c, radio and other buttons... I try not to interfere with his developing genius. Speaking of which, a lot of our conversation last night revolved around why he should be allowed to have a pocketknife. My Mom let him have a pocketknife (I don't know the story) yesterday, and we confiscated it when he came back home.

When Jonathan wants something, he does not whine and carry on like most kids... he wears me down with his calm logic. (This is how we wound up with two gerbils, even though I had long ago instituted a strict NO RODENTS policy.) I asked him, what on earth do you need a pocketknife for? And he gave me a long list of examples in which a pocketknife would come in handy. He even pointed out instances where a pocketknife would be useful not only to himself, but to me and the entire family. I told him that I would have a meeting with Daddy about it while he was at school today, and he said, "I already TALKED to Daddy. He said we have to TALK to YOU. So if YOU don't know, then how will DADDY KNOW?"


{Lord, how I love that child. How I love his Daddy, and how Jonathan is like David 2.0! How could I not love Jonathan when he is so much like his Daddy? The kid has got me! He can get away with an awful lot. It is a good thing he has such a good heart and sense of right and wrong, or he could really be a monster!}

Anyways, we went on a date to his school. They had a parent training night for Title I reading. We spent an hour in the library moving between 4 stations, where they gave us take-home games to help with word building, sentence building, fluency, comprehension, read-alouds and word families, and *PRAISE THE LORD* some fun games to use to practice sight words. Just in time, because Jonathan's eyes glaze over when we pull out that deck of flashcards. And since I do this type of reading instruction for my job, I have to admit by the time I come home, I am pretty sick of sight words myself. Plus, all of the take home games are things I can use at work, too, so it was really advantageous for me that we went.
It was a great night. I enjoyed being with him at school, and I got to see his media center for the first time (library! love! the! library!). Then we left there and went to Denny's. It was dark out, and past 7 PM, so it was like this big adventure. For both of us. Normally, I don't like to drive at night, and also, I don't like to eat at Denny's. Denny's is on my list of Nasty Places. But it was fun. We went to the one in front of Wal-mart on Wickham, so we got to look at Elvis pictures and King-Kong movie posters. He ordered spaghetti, and I got a short stack of pancakes. When we left, he accidentally stole his hard plastic glass and kept begging me to go back inside so we could return it. (See, there's that strict sense of right and wrong... to me, they had overcharged us for crappy food and poor service, I had still tipped more than 20%, so what was the loss of a plastic glass to them? But that's the difference between Dave and me!)
He was telling me something funny a boy in his class said, and I said, "Oh, yeah, is so-and-so your friend?: And he said, "Yep. He's a mover clip guy." This means that he is someone who has to move his clip a lot. Jonathan is not a mover clip guy (remember, he got an award for never moving his clip?). But I think that he feels cool by association, that he is friends with a mover clip guy. I know the feeling a little. I dated some mover clip guys, but thankfully I wised up and married a non-mover clip guy. :)

In Memory of my Aunt Joyce

I love this picture of my Aunt Joyce holding Jonathan the summer of 2004. We took him to New York for the first time. She was smitten with him (as all the Smith aunts were!) because she thought he reminded her of her brother Larry (my Dad). The last time I saw Joyce was the summer of 2005. She was in a hospital, and she could barely speak and was very, very weak. Joyce battled cancer for many, many years. That summer of 2005, she found out I was pregnant and expecting a girl, and she was so happy to hear this news. I remember how bright and beautiful her blue eyes were that day. She had the prettiest blue eyes, and even though she was near the end, they were still so bright and beautiful. Yesterday would have been Joyce's birthday, and I would think that there was quite a party in heaven. Joyce was loved very much by her husband, her children, her grand-children, and her whole family. She will not be forgotten.

What's Going On

Mama Dooligan had a little meltdown this afternoon. I went to a same-day appointment that THEY insisted on when they heard my symptoms. My Dr. that I have been seeing since 2001 left, and is not accepting new patients (she bought an already established practice). So I called in to work, and figured since I have an terrible headache which has been unrelenting since Thursday, that maybe it was better to take an afternoon off, even though I honestly look forward to seeing the kids. When one of them is absent, I am bummed out. I love my job (even on the bad days). Anyways, I decided I need to deal with this dumb headache... so I took the appointment with this unknown doctor. After waiting a LOOOOONG time for him to make an appearance, he stunned me with his complete lack of knowledge. About my chart. About my current medications. About my various conditions. About simple medical terminology. Normally, I have a lot of respect and deference for medical doctors. But no. Not this guy. I honestly wonder if he could read. Or if he might have been on something. If I was cranky when I walked in there, I was furious when I left. After dealing with the front office staff, and the pharmacy, I stomped out in a huff. Normally I am not a stompy kind of gal. I choose my shoes based on how quiet or loud they are... even though heels make me feel more confident and make everything hang better, I avoid them, because I don't want to be noticed when I walk. But nope, today, I stomped and huffed out of there, because I wanted everyone to know how disgusted I was.
After I made my appointment next week to get established with a real primary care doctor (because, apparently and thankfully so, this guy was not one of the real primary care doctors), he ordered an ultrasound of my thyroid. I don't know why. Probably because I am considered obese. He vaguely mentioned stuff about my heart and said they would probably pick up on my caratoid arteries while they were scanning my thyroid. I would really rather a doctor not count on probably... Maybe the technician will happen to look at your arteries, maybe they won't... I really can't say. It's not as if I have any control over what happens over there at imaging. I am just the doctor. I only write the FRIGGIN' orders for these procedures. And who knows, maybe the radiologist will happen to glance at my arteries and make a comment in his report, but there's no telling. Or maybe, just maybe, my incompetent doctor picked thyroid scan out of a list, eenie, meenie, minie, mo style, and followed the protocol called "Let's-just-pick-a-test-and-go-with-it-so-patient-will-feel-like-we-are-doing-something..."
Pseudotumor cerebri. This is what I am relatively certain I have, since I have had it twice in the past, and I have the same symptoms. All it means is that I have too much fluid behind my eyes, too much intracranial pressure, and it can usually be alleviated by some diuretics and/or a spinal tap. It can be diagnosed first by a careful, thorough eye exam, done by an opthamalogist, and then confirmed by an MRI, ordered by a neurologist. It sounds scary, but it really isn't. However, I would like medical attention because my quality of life sucks right now, because of the symptoms, and also, because if left untreated/unmonitored, it can affect my vision. Additionally, I would like to not diagnose myself based on prior experience and some internet research...I would like some medical attention to reassure me that this is indeed what is going on, and it is not anything more. I have high blood pressure, and I have had it for years. I am also fat. Being fat and being female makes me far more likely to have this condition.
So, just to let you all know what is going on. I am nauseous. I am dizzy. I can't see very well... I have spots and lights all over my vision, and the double vision is starting to set in. My head hurts. A LOT. There is a rushing noise (like a heartbeat, like the noise you hear when you listen to a fetal monitor?) in my left ear all the time that is driving me freaking crazy.
https://health.google.com/health/ref/Pseudotumor+cerebri
To give the doctor some sort of credit, I think there is a legitimate link between thyroid problems and pseudotumor cerebri. Maybe, if these magical pills he gave me, make my headache go away a little, and maybe if I get some sleep and calm down a little, I will not be quite so angry towards this doctor. Just maybe.

Questions

Here are some of the questions I've been asked by my tutoring students lately:

Questions that make me self-conscious and paranoid:
Why do you talk like that? Why do you talk like that? Why do you talk like that? Why does your talking sounds like that?

Why is your chin like that? Why does your chin look like that? Why is your face like that?
(Referring to my double chin? My acne? What? WHAT?)

Questions related to my nails:
Why did you get those nails on?
Why did you cut your nails? (referring to my fake nails, which took an entire week to chisel off. I even soaked them in pure acetone repeatedly... never again.)
Why don't you go back to the place you got them and have them REMOVE them? They look TERRIBLE.
(Then today, because all of my nail beds are wrecked from the dumb fake nails:)
Why are your HANDS like that? Why do your nails look like THAT? Do your hands HURT?

General:
Can I just call you Mommy, 'cause I'll never remember your name?
Are we all REALLY brothers and sisters? (I think the correct answer was: Yes, we are, in Christ... But this was what I said: Open your workbook please. Open your workbook. OPEN. YOUR. WORKBOOK.)
Why do you have 2 kids? Why do you have a picture of them?

Why does your little girl have short hair when you have long hair? That doesn't make any sense.

Why did you wear your hair down today? It is WINDY. You always wear your hair UP. But today, it is WINDY and you have it DOWN.

Why don't you have your regular rings on? Where's your marriage ring? (I am wearing a silver ring on my ring finger. No, my marriage is not in trouble. I just felt like wearing a different ring.)

Do you have cats? Do you have cats? Do you have cats?


I am pretty sure that they are asking me these questions partly to distract me from our work.
I never knew I was so interesting or so controversial or so thought-provoking... These kids crack me up. Every single day, they do or say something that makes me laugh.

Saturday

Jonathan turned out to be pretty handy with the hammer.

We went to Lowe's to buy flooring for the bedrooms. They were having one of the workshops for kids. We went back there and Jonathan said he felt "shy." The nice salesman let us take the Tic Tac Toe board kit home. Jonathan and I put it together. I kept trying to read the directions to figure it out, and he kept saying, "NO! Look at it, that isn't how it lines up. Let me do it." He could just look at the pictures for a few seconds and he knew how to do it. Didn't get that from me!

Jonathan was fascinated by the insides of our bathroom scale. It stopped working so Dave and Jonathan took it apart.

Friday

We had some New York relatives come and visit yesterday. My aunt Rita, my uncle Vern, my aunt Elaine, and my cousin Melissa and her son Nick. We got together for pizza at our house and Jason and Trystan came over to eat with us. (Justine had violin lessons and a school dance.)
We had a nice visit. My aunt Rita and Uncle Vern are in the background. Nick had chalk all over his pants from drawing on the sidewalk.

Nick is 2. He is my cousin Melissa's son. Anna, 4. Trystan, 4. Jonathan, 6. You wouldn't believe the effort it took to get all four kids to line up on the bed and have their picture taken. And this was the best shot of the 5 pics I took... that's not saying much, huh?

Anna was playing trucks with Nick. Nick kept walking up and hitting her at first. When we got in the car, she said, "Nick kept hitting me, but that was just his way of saying HI. He wanted to play with me." This was absolutely correct, of course, but I was suprised that she understood it so well. He wanted to play but wasn't quite sure how to initiate it. He was really cute. Jonathan got out his battle RC car and truck and Nick learned how to use the remote control. Nick reminded me a lot of Jonathan at that age... how time flies by.

That's Our Boy!

Jonathan got a Good Behavior award! This means he did not have to move his clip one time over the past nine weeks. We are very proud of him!

Jonathan is SO tall! Look at those long legs!

Anna and Dave. Anna thought Jonathan was getting a REward, and she was puzzled and disappointed that all he got was a piece of paper. I think Jonathan felt the same way.

Fuzzy Plays Store

One last Fuzzy post (unless I wake up in the middle of the night and catch him doing something noteworthy!)...
When I got home from work this afternoon, Anna had created a store at the entrance to her room. She decorated it with My Little Pony wrapping paper, magnetic letters, and a sign at the entrance. I think the chairs are like the benches outside of stores? Anyways, that is where Fuzzy took a seat, and one of her baby dolls. For the first time, I got my special chair from my aunt Vernie down out of the closet. It always sat in one of her bedrooms with a fancy doll on it. I have kept it up and away until now, because I am pretty sure the kids would have demolished it. It has a certain Flinstonian charm to it, and it is very sentimental to me. Anna knew it was a really big deal that I let her play with it. She was thrilled. I played store with her for a little while and was amazed at how different she is now. We made paper dollar bills (with an A for Anna and a heart on them) and she would count up how many items I purchased, and then she would tell me how much I owed her. She would then count my dollar bills to make sure I gave her enough. It was very sweet. (Everything cost a dollar, so our math was pretty simple, but I am still impressed!)

Fuzzy Goes to the Doctor

Fuzzy went on a car trip today. He was supposed to go back to school in his backpack, but Anna stayed home today so she could go along with Jonathan to his appointment at Arnold Palmer. Once again, Fuzzy was an exceptionally well-behaved bear. Fuzzy had his picture taken with Jon and Anna in the doctor's office (Jonathan was a little put out with the whole gown thing; he kept requesting his clothes again and again like an elderly patient, and we kept patiently reminding him that no one could see his underwear and he could have them back as soon as his x-rays were done). Fuzzy also took a snooze in the backseat of the car with Anna (she was a little tired because she woke up at 4:30 AM ARGHH!).

Fuzzy Goes to Steak n' Shake

Anna brought Fuzzy home from preschool on Friday. We were having TOO much adventure (translation: everyone was puking) so we kept him safely tucked away until this evening. Anna wanted to take him somewhere special to eat, and Mama thoughtfully looked over her menu plans for the week (translation: there isn't a flippin' thing to eat in this house; we are out of groceries) and decided we could take him wherever Anna wanted. Anna chose Steak n' Shake. Fuzzy sat nicely at the table. He even wore his hat while we waited for the food to arrive.

Jonathan asked us, exasperatedly, "How come at fancy restaurants they always bring the drinks out first, and then they make you wait to get the food?" Good question! That is a problem with a fancy restaurant such as Le Steak & Le Shake. The food isn't automatic like at non-fancy places, like McDonald's. Mama is glad that the kids have never really eaten anywhere that can qualify as fancy, since a dinner out at a diner chain can cost a family of four over twenty bucks, easily.

Anna was a little distressed as we looked through the Fuzzy's Amazing Adventure book. Other children in her class had taken Fuzzy various places, and had included cute photos and stories to go along with them. She saw that he had been on a boat, and got tearful because "we don't have one of those boat outfits for Fuzzy and I don't know where to get one!" She was referring to the kiddie-sized life vest they had strapped onto Fuzzy. Aww!

Saturday AM

Charlie, Jonathan and Anna up in the tree together. The kids had so much fun with the Morgans here! They came from North Carolina to visit. They gave us their Nintendo, and Jonathan is having so much fun with Mario World. He loves Yoshi.

Jonathan

Jonathan and Jackie are both in kindergarten this year!

Charlie Morgan

Jackie Morgan

Anna at the Park

Our beautiful girl. 4 years old.

Resolution

I have finally decided on my New Year's resolution.

I want to be more mindful. I want to focus on whatever situation I am in and let myself be there.

I want to stop texting and other bad habits while driving and focus on driving. Be mindful of what I am doing with my vehicle.

I want to focus only on the student(s) I am working with at work, and not think about the next session or group of kids coming in, not be focused on paperwork, thinking of phone calls I need to make, letting my mind race to the grocery list, etc. but just try to be mindful of what is taking place during that one hour.

I want to ask a question and really listen to the answer.

I want to be more mindful when my husband is talking to me, to stop what I am doing and listen to what he is saying.

I want to be more mindful, more present when I am with my kids. I want to listen to them more and give them my full attention when we are spending time together.

I would like my attention to be more focused, thinking of one thing, working on one task, and following it through to the end before moving on to the next. I have felt so scattered and divided and overwhelmed. A house divided against itself can't stand, and neither can my mind! I try to focus on everything at once and end up completely unfocused. I try to multi-task too much and worry about everything at the same time. I wind up getting nothing done, feeling bad about it, and being exhausted anyways...

How will I accomplish this resolution (since it is sort of sweeping and vague)? I guess by keeping my hands on the wheel when I drive. Even at stop lights. By looking at people's faces when they are talking. Spending less time on the computer and more time actually being present with my family. Set small goals, like: on this day, I will clean 1 bathroom, to completion. Rather than run around and try to get the whole house put back together. Stop trying to multi-task and actually get something done, and be calm enough so that my brain will be able to acknowledge that I got something done. Leave my phone in the car so I won't check my e-mail or text while at the movies, or eating out, or spending time with loved ones. More prayer time; less fruitless worry over everything I can't control. More yoga, because it really does help me to calm my mind and focus. Try to take my schedule one hour at a time rather than trying to remember and fret over everything at once.

How will I know if I accomplish this resolution? I can't measure it in pounds lost, or bitten fingernails regrown, like I have in years past. I don't really know how I will measure success at this resolution. I guess maybe my chest won't hurt as much and I will stop having to remind myself to breathe. Maybe I will stop feeling guilty all the time because I will be able to remember quality time I spent with the kids.

Wish me luck, or, rather, mindfulness!

On this day...

On this day, in 2004, I was at the beach with my then 3 month old son, Jonathan. I dipped his toes in the water, and while he drew them back and made a face, he didn't cry. I remember that the water was fairly cold. I would have NEVER dipped Anna's toes in the water at that age. I definitely treated them differently... whether it was a personality or a birth order or a gender thing, I will never know. And which came first, the way I treated them, or the way they were? I always think that they were born themselves and I just parented them accordingly. It is hard to really treat them equally, because they are so different. Anyways, it was a very pretty day at the beach, clear blue skies, a little cool but sunny. On this day, 6 years later, in 2010, you would NOT find me at the beach... we are in the middle of the hardest, longest cold snap I can ever remember! Just my memory, not scientific fact or anything. There may have been other winters like this, and maybe for one reason or another, I just wasn't paying attention. I used to tune the weather out. It seemed irrelevant to me when I was younger. I feel like I talk about the weather so much more than I used to... does that mean I am getting older? Of course, yes, I am getting older. We all are, right?

Beef Stew

This recipe makes our house smell insanely good. It is sweet torture to smell it as it cooks for 3 hours... Sweet torture? Yuck. I don't hope to ever use that phrase again. Where did that even come from? Anyways, I made this tonight and it solicited 2 separate "Delicious!" comments from my Dad, and he said the beef couldn't be more tender. AND he actually accepted the leftovers I sent home with him. (Dave loved it of course, but he loves everything I do {sigh...})

1 2lb boneless chuck beef roast, trimmed and cut into large chunks
12 cloves smashed garlic
3-4 sweet onions, cut in large wedges
3-4 carrots, cut into large chunks
1 cup Shiraz (or other such wine)
3/4 cup beef broth
1 can undrained diced tomatoes
2 T tomato paste
2 bay leaves
olive oil
salt, pepper, rosemary and thyme (dried, to taste)
pinch of ground cloves

Whole thing goes into a Dutch oven with lid. Cook garlic cloves in o.o. over low heat. Remove with slotted spoon, put beef into pot, season, brown, remove beef, put wine in pot, bring to boil, add beef and garlic back, plus all other ingredients, stir well, bring to a boil. Put lid on pot, put in 300 degree oven for 2.5 hours. Serve over noodles and with crusty bread. Seriously good on a cold day like today, and rarely can I ever leave the oven on for this long without the kitchen becoming unbearably hot.

Dear Tooth Fairy,

"My tooth fell in the garbage.

---Jonathan"

Did you know that the tooth fairy accepts notes in lieu of a tooth? Jonathan lost a tooth. We had it in a paper towel, and the paper towel was thrown away. He was very upset that he could not put it under his pillow. So, he wrote this clever note! And the tooth fairy came through.

Saturday

Speedy and Ballerina let Dave pick up both of them for the first time ever!

Jonathan with Aunt Mary and the doggies. Anna had to jump in the picture and make a rude face. She was in a mood.

The kids loved roasting marshmellows. It made me nervous, the sharp metal sticks and the fire.

My brother Jason's birthday dinner. Justine was trying to get Trystan to cooperate for the picture.

Have we mentioned how cold it is in Florida right now? I took Biscuit and Mutton on 2 walks and had to wear three scarves and Dave's jacket and gloves. The good thing is that nobody could even recognize me. The bad thing is that I was STILL cold.

Jonathan and Daddy roasting marshmellows. There is something about men and building fires. It must bring out their inner caveman or something. The fire was very nice, but with all the pine going into it, I started wheezing and coughing. That was part of why I braved the cold to take the dogs on walks... to get some fresh air.

Jonathan was trying to imitate Anna. This was his first attempt. Then she told him, No, Bubba that's the wrong way!

Second attempt, he got it.

Anna and Jon enjoying the fire.

Biscuit was shivering, so we had a snuggle on the sofa.

Mutton and Anna joined in.

Misc.

My niece Justine AKA JoJo cuddling Biscuit, the cutest little shi tzu ever.

"Stop taking pictures of me and pet me!" Biscuit is one of those dogs that still seems like a puppy, both in personality and appearance. He is so cute!

We let the cat (Sabrina) inside because of the unusually cold weather (we keep trying to put her and Sprite in the garage, but they are either warm enough, or just don't have the good sense to go inside). For the first time since we got the gerbils, Sabrina noticed them. It was entertaining to watch her try to find a way to get them. We think the gerbils knew they were safe because they were practically taunting her. Or maybe they are just too dumb to know that Sabrina and Sprite have killed bigger creatures than them in the past.

I got a new camera for Christmas, and I haven't quite figured out how to use it yet. So there are lots of pictures of me looking like this...staring up in confusion at the camera and unaware I am taking a picture of myself. You might think I am angry, but no, just puzzled.

Throwback Pepsi

... is OH SO GOOD! They are offering it for a limited time only but I wish they would keep it around. We only bought one little bottle because we weren't sure about it, but now I wish we had bought more. Maybe we will venture back out to Target later.
The ingredient list is: carbonated water, sugar, caramel color, phosphoric acid, caffiene, natural flavor.
Real sugar, instead of high fructose corn syrup.
It is delicious. I can tell it seems flatter than regular Pepsi to begin with, so I think that it will go flat sooner in the fridge, but I just LOVE it. Highly recommend it to Pepsi fans.

Cakes

Anna's 4th Birthday Cake, 2009.

Dad's Cake, 2009.

Anna's 3rd Birthday Cake. 2008.

Jonathan's 5th Birthday "Spongebob Squarepants" 2008

Justine's Birthday Cake, February 2009.