A Squirrel Peed On Me Today

I am having a not so great day. It started out with a squirrel peeing on me while I was strapping Anna into her carseat. I had to get Jonathan to school on time, so I did not have time to react like I usually would have (something akin to a flipping flipout, a scalding hot shower, and repetitve use of hand sanitizer). Instead, I just let out an exasperated (yet, defeated) sigh and got on my way. I thought to myself, at least it wasn't poop, and at least most of it missed me, hitting my car instead. It's 5:30 now, and I have yet to get a shower. I really can't recall most of what made the rest of my day stink so much (not literally, if my day was less than fragrant, I am sure it had to do with the squirrel urine). I was cooking dinner just now and I burnt myself. I had to clean the fridge out when I got home (all of those Thanksgiving leftovers) make me wanna gag. I stopped to vacuum out my car, and somehow ripped off half my big toenail by hitting it with the hose. Not only did it really hurt, it totally ruined my look. I had just been staring down at my feet, thinking, I really need to buy a bottle of OPI's I'm Not Really A Waitress (my favorite nailpolish shade for winter) so I can touch up my pedicure a little, and then, BAM! Off went half my big toenail. You all might know how I feel about my feet. I have two humongous, unconcealed (no makeup) zits on my face today, and I neglected to brush my hair, but if my feet look bad, I feel REALLY bad about myself.
The kid I tutored today was spaced out most of the time, argumentative about simple addition (I am not the most mathematical of all girls, but I am pretty durn sure that 8 plus 8 is 16 NOT 15), and interrupted me at 4 PM to tell me that it was 4 PM, and since I had arrived at 3 PM, wasn't it about time for me to go? Well, I guess I can mark down that this particular first grader is pretty sharp with the concept of time! I wanted to say look, buddy, a squirrel peed on me today. You can't possibly make me feel any worse.
I have a fever. Jonathan has a fever. I sent him to school today, thinking (hoping) that what he has is just allergies, and not the cold the rest of us have... Anna stayed home from school. Well, I opened his folder when he got home and found a nasty-gram from the school that he may possibly fail the semester due to absences. Oh, really? You are going to F/A my 6 year old in his first semester of school? Maybe I should have sent him to school last Tuesday when he was vomiting every few minutes and his Daddy and I had to scramble to shuffle work schedules and I had to call in sick for the afternoon so one of us could stay home with him. How about the week he had the flu, and at least 6 other kids also missed the entire week? Should I have sent him then? What about the week he had the other nasty virus, with the fever and the croupy cough, and the lack of ability to speak AT ALL??? Is BPS trying to tell me, his mother, that I don't have the discernment as a parent to make a judgement call about when MY child is sick? It costs me thirty dollars every time I take my child to the doctor. Sixty if I take both. Am I supposed to waste the doctor's time, bully my way into a same day appointment, drag my sick kids in to be exposed to something that is guaranteed to be worse than what they actually have, pay them $30 to tell me it's a virus and it'll pass on its own, all to get a stupid doctor's note? The ONE TIME I sent him when I wasn't entirely sure I should have (he had no fever, but he had what sounded like a pack-a-day cough) they were calling all my phone numbers: Mrs. Dooley, we have Jonathan here in the clinic, can you come get him, he has a bad cough?
Um, yeah, I'll be right there!!!!
How crazy do you think the principal would think I am if I wrote back to her: Listen, a squirrel peed on me today. I can't deal with this right now! Could you send me a nasty form letter on another day when I will be able to muster a sane, reasonable response?
Tomorrow, tomorrow is Tuesday. And there is very little chance that I will have a day as uniquely bad as today. Because, let's face it, it's not every day that you get peed on by a squirrel.