Wednesday

As Jonathan would put it, poopity-poop! That's how I feel today. My class went great last night. I felt like my presentation went really well, and in spite of spending the entire day in near-panic in anticipation of being up in front of the class, I was totally fine once I got up there. I am pretty sure we got an A, and really, that is all that matters to me! (Sad, but true.) I guess I also hope that we taught our classmates something about Dr. Glasser's choice theory, reality therapy, and applying choice theory to the classroom setting, but I am not sure if anyone was listening. Then I got up and went to tutor Jacob, my homeschooled student, and I really enjoyed working with him. I noticed my car was sputtering this morning, but I got from preschool to Starbucks to Jacob's house without ever turning the car off, and when it started back up again after tutoring, I thought things would be okay. Then, the check engine light came on. I called Dave, what do I do?? He told me to meet him down at Christian's in Palm Bay. I took Croton Rd, and noticed that my brother was home when I passed by their house. I called him and he said I should take it to Auto Zone and ask them to check it with their computer thingy. So I did, and I spent about a 100 on parts, but that will hopefully be a lot less than the mechanic would have charged us, since we don't pay my brother for labor. He is always very nice and willing to help us whenever he can. So then we drove Dave back to Palm Bay, and the kids and I are just hanging out at home. Dave has to stay really late at work today. He is having a lot of issues at work with his design and while he is VERY grateful to have a job, he is really struggling with this particular project. When he is not happy, I somehow feel that it is my fault, and then we both get all wierd and unhappy. It is very wierd. I think there is just this general gloom hanging over life right now, I guess because every day brings more bad news than usual and people are much more anxious than usual. I just feel like everything is about to fall apart! There is really no reason to feel this. But with things like the car breaking and the pool falling apart, it just adds to my feeling that the sky is falling in. And I am really worried about my Mom, and my stepdad, and I am very worried about Dave's Mom and Dad also. Ed is still in the hospital and my Mom is trying to take care of him there, and now she is sick also. Dave's dad is still in the hospital, and his Mom is trying to take care of him there also, and she is still suffering from the brain bleed she had. Everything just seems really scary and bad. In spite of the negative economy, our finances aren't the worst they've ever been. We were weeks away from being credit-card debt free, but now with the car and the pool disaster... I feel like we can't make any forward progress, and now stuff like groceries and gas and necessities are starting to seem more and more troublesome. We have managed to make it pretty well with just one income these past 5 (six, really) years and that has been the biggest blessing ever. I am so lucky to have had the freedom to stay home with my babies and I am really grateful to Dave that he has provided for us the way he has! But I think it is just time for me to maybe get a job, especially in the fall. The funny thing is, now it may be nearly impossible to get a teaching job in this county! All these years I stay at home, and I knew the whole time I could get a teaching position if I really tried, and now... I just don't know! So, again, in summary: Poopity poop!