The Joys of Parenthood

"Hey, Mama."
Me, putting my sandwich down, just about to take my first bite of lunch.
"Yes, Jonathan?"
"Where are the wipes?"
"What wipes?"
"The wipes in the bathroom."
"Oh," I say, casually, picking my sandwich up and taking a bite, "We ran out. Why do you need them?"
"Because I accidentally farted and then I saw poop in my pants."

This was after I got my feet and legs splashed with vomit outside the store. We thought Jonathan was feeling better, so we ventured out, and that was a mistake. We took him to Petco, to check out the rodents. After he got sick, he said, "I think it was that nasty pet smell that made me sick."
What are we doing now? Anna, Dave and I are sitting around the kitchen table finishing our lunch. Dave handled the bathroom situation for me, while I so helpfully sat here and blogged about this.