Sweetest Girl (and Saddest Me)

I was putting Anna to bed the other night and she gave me this big hug and kiss. I said, I missed you today! And she said, I miss you all the time when you away. Then I told her I loved her. She said she loved me very,very,very,very much! I told her I loved her VERY, VERY, VERY,VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY much. She thought for a minute and said, I love you the same as you love me, Mama.
Today she walked into my stepdad's room and he was asleep. She got up on the bed and very gently laid her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a long hug and a kiss. She did it a second time and he woke up and said, Oh, is that my love? It's my little sweetheart, Anna! He was so happy to see her. He could not take his eyes off her the whole time we were in the room. He told me the day before, Now, I have not seen my Anna Banana in two days! You need to bring her tomorrow! He told me today that he loved the kids so much. He said they are so close to him, they are his own. I am so broken-hearted that the kids are losing their grandpa. He is always so happy to see them. Even when he does not feel well, which has been most of this past year, he always lights up and makes a big deal when he sees them, even though he sees them pretty much every day. He has all these special grandpa routines he does with them, like with Anna she gives him a hug and kiss and he always has chocolate for her. He always has Jonathan shake hands and calls him his little buddy. He makes them feel so special. He has taught them so much. He has had so much patience and tolerance for them as babies and toddlers and now preschoolers. He has taken the time to hold them and read them books and work puzzles with them. He could have been a grumpy old man who did not have much room in his life for his wife's grandkids. But he chose to be a great grandpa, their beloved Poppa Ed, and I am so utterly grateful that he has been in their lives. I am blessed that my kids had this time with him. He didn't have to be so wonderful to them all the time. He didn't have to be so welcoming. But he has been. The hospice nurse told me today she thought we might be looking at days left with Ed instead of weeks. I am so sad. I know he has only been in my life for the past eight years, but they were some pretty major eight years... He has been a witness to my meeting Dave, getting engaged and married to Dave, he was at my college graduation, he was around when we bought our first house (and has helped with various issues that came along with home ownership!), he was there when I lost my great aunt and uncle, (first Jim, and then Vernie, the only loved ones I have lost so far that I was close to), he was at the hospital, right outside the door, when both of my children were born. I can still remember him holding both of them at the hospital as tiny newborns and looking so overjoyed. I have probably spent more time with him and heard him say more words than my own father. Ed always kisses me and hugs me and tells me he loves me, and he has given me affection and attention that I have craved from my own father. I wish that were different, but the good news is that maybe there is still time for my own father and I. The bad news is that we have so little time left with my stepdad. The good news is that I did get the time with him at all. I wish my kids had been able to have him in their lives longer, and I hope that they will remember him. I am pretty sure that Jonathan will, but I wonder about Anna. I intend to help them remember someone who was a great grandpa and stepdad to me and my family. He didn't have to be. But he did.
I think we can choose to move in and out of each other's lives with little intention or care, just kind of float through on our own little sphere. Or we can choose to treat each other with love and regard. We can choose to care, to notice other people, to spread out into each other's lives and actually mean something.