Catching Up

Anna missed her first day of school on Wednesday because she was running a high fever (105!) but she was well enough to go to school on Friday. She wore her giraffe shirt that Yara (Lara) got for her and she picked it out special. I tried for a ponytail, but that was out of the question. Then she ripped her barrettes (our compromise) out by the time we got to school.

We walked her in, she was very pleased with the baby potty (they have the most DARLING little toilet EVER) and looked very happy with her room. Anna asked me "Are you going to leave me here today, Mama?" when I was getting her out of her carseat. She was not asking because she was worried, but because she wanted it to finally be the day she was going to be left at school like Bubba.

She had declared that "Madison was her best friend" after meeting her at Open House. What criteria does a 2 year old have for selecting a best friend? "Cuz she has a Dora shirt and she wore pink." Also, she was the only other kid there during their appointment time. It's so easy to make friends when you are a toddler!

Anna did great at her first day of school. She made a watercolor painting, played well with her friends, and stayed dry in her big girl underwear all morning. I did not shed a tear as I walked away. I cried when I left Jonathan in the same classroom two years ago, and I cried A LOT when Jonathan started Pre-k this year. But, this time, no tears. Hmmm. Maybe it's because I know it is only 3 mornings a week and we still have years to go until kindegarten starts.

Every night lately when I am putting Anna to bed, she looks up at me and says, I not a baby anymore, Mama, I a big girl now. She usually says this when she is bleary-eyed and almost drifted off to sleep. I always agree with her. I wonder why she tells me this? I realize this every minute of everyday. I am not sure if she is looking for affirmation or if she is trying to help me get used to the idea, or what. But it is the truth. She has done so much growing up lately. Since April, we stopped nursing, she moved out of my room, she was potty-trained (pretty much on her own initiative), moved into a big-girl bed of her own, she started school, she started wanting to do everything "All By Myself!" I am so, so proud of her.

We have been playing Go Fish this weekend. It's the most surreal feeling. The kids are actually getting the game, even Anna. I just can't believe I am sitting on the floor playing cards with my kids! I love being able to do stuff like this and I love the way they can communicate with us now.

We have been spending lots of quality time together since our TV IS STILL BROKEN! But I am happier without it. It already seems normal to have no cable. We actually got rid of our cable and switched to the very basic. Since the TV is really broken, we don't have any channels at all.

The kids will still be able to watch PBS when the TV gets fixed. I don't really like the version of reality that Nick, Noggin and Disney sell my kids anyways.

Today we are making a Cotton Pickin' Cake to take to a cookout at my Mom's. I am going to go and help lick the frosting off the beaters. Hope everyone had a good week!

Dooligans 4, Taking a Weeklong Break

I am going to take a break from posting for the next week.
I am also going to be off Facebook, MySpace and Webkinz. I will ask Dave to monitor Webkinz for me so my pets don't get sick and hungry and my garden does not dry up. (Just in case you were concerned about Meowington, Lizardly, June, and Bernie.)
I just need some distance and space from the computer. I need to focus on my actual life instead of my virtual one. I need to parent my children and love my husband instead of writing about them. I need to try to take care of my health instead of spending my time complaining about it on here. Maybe I will even pay attention to my real pets, Sabrina and Sprite, instead of feeding my virtual ones.
I'll be back next week! Maybe. I hope everyone has a peaceful and blessed week! Jamie

PS If you just HAVE to speak to me, I will be checking my Yahoo mail account, so you can leave a comment here and I will see it there.

Saturday (it's really long and rambling; my apologies!)

Anna came to our room this morning and took her nighttime diaper off. She got right up on the pillow next to me and started tooting. Then she would cackle and say, ha,ha! Mama, I toot on your bed! I was not amused (well, I was a little, tiny bit). I told her to go find some underwear. She said, No, I like to be naked booty.

Then I said, Anna, stop playing with your booty butt on my bed! It's gross!

She replies: I can touch it if I want to, it's MY business!

I have always told the kids that their private areas are their own business.

So, she sort of had me there, except for:

OK, then go touch your business in your OWN ROOM and not ON MY BED!!!!



Dave took the kids to his gym and I went to Curves, and then to my Mom's house to take her dogs on a walk. She has two shi tzus, Biscuit and Mutton. Mutton is getting fatter by the minute. He literally waddles when he walks. I told him that when school started, I was going to put him and me on a diet, and we were going to go on walks three times a week. Of course, last week was a tad wet outside, so we had to start today. Biscuit and I wanted to walk at a normal pace, so I just let Mutton's leash go and he trailed about ten feet behind us, having to break into a trot now and then and panting his head off. I am sure we have about the same BMI, and I certainly was not exerting myself. If Mutton stopped to go potty, Biscuit would put his brakes on and wait for him to catch up. They love each other so much. Like looooovers do. It started raining, and I had my cell and my keys, a bag full of doggy poo and two out of shape shi tzus with me. I wanted to get home, and I was getting pretty cranky. We finally made it back home, the rain stopped, and I swear it was literally steaming outside! Then I had to drive home in wet clothes.

But, I did feel much better after I exercised. What I have discovered helps me with my condition: exercise, chiropractic care, and getting more adequate sleep. I could give you a whole list of medicines that have NOT helped. I am going back to the rheumatoligist this week and ask that he re-evaluate the one medicine he has tried that I have actually stayed on. I think it has helped me with some of my burning, tingling skin pain, but not with my muscle aches and fatigue and sharp joint pains. It has done nothing for making me sleep better, or for my chronic headaches, or for my feelings of well-being. I sleep worse on it than I did before, and anything they try for my sleep or headaches just makes me feel more tired and groggy all the time. So I have gotten down to this one last medicine. And I think it makes me feel agitated and unfocused all the time. I think it makes me sleep less, which definitely makes me feel worse. So if I add all of this up, the bottom line is I think I would be better off without it. The only problem is: how do I stop taking it? It has wicked withdrawal symptoms and I am going to need help to wean off it. I think if I had fully understood how hard it would be to stop taking it, I would not have tried it to begin with. I don't like the feeling that I am dependent on something. I have never tried (illegal) drugs for a reason! I also don't like that I just don't feel like myself when I am taking this medicine. So, that's that! Who's tired of hearing about this? I certainly am.

The one casualty of Fay in our home, the TV, is still broken. Samsung called their repairmen, and they are supposed to call to schedule an appointment within three business days. Add to this the one-three day delay Fay seems to have put on everything (rightfully so) and I think we are looking at two full weeks without a functioning TV. Just so you understand what a crisis this is, we can't even watch DVDs! I think the part that is really annoying (and I apologize for being annoyed by this at all; I know I am surrounded by a county of people with real problems and property loss) is that the TV will work, but only for a few minutes, or a half hour, or maybe an hour. but there is no way to predict when it will spontaneously shut itself off. I sort of wish it would just stay off. It would be easier to explain to the kids that the TV is broken if it just never came on at all! I have been thinking about cancelling our fancy-schmancy DVR cable anyways. We cancelled our spring water delivery (I am drinking Brita filtered water from the tap! Big deal for me.) and I have drastically cut back on my latte/Starbucks consumption. It was hard to justify spending almost four bucks on a coffee drink while complaining about how high gas prices and groceries are. I felt sort of like a moron. Not that I don't still occasionally give in and go to Starbucks. So this is going.... somewhere. Right, the TV. Hopefully they will fix it or Samsung will give us some money. This does not seem likely, but it is still under warranty and we have not even owned the thing for a year yet! So it's storming out (just a thunderstorm, no two feet of rain), and we have nowhere to go, and no TV to pacify ourselves with. But, to quote Mr. Johnson(does anyone else remember him? the old guy who had a fit and heaved the rocking chair up over his head in anger???), from Creel Elementary, "I cried when I had no shoes until I saw a man with no feet." Profound! ;)

Date Night

I had an appointment this afternoon, and I basically asked my Mom, can I not come back to get them till 8? Dave met me at home at 5 and we had 3 hours with no kids! Did I ever need it, too! We went to Duffy's, which took over the old Roadhouse Grill. We'd never been there before, and it was packed! It turned from a peanuts on the floor steakhouse to a sports stuff on the wall grill and bar. Our food was actually really good, and the service was friendly and quick. 2 for 1 happy hour, including bottled beers (not just nasty, watered down cocktails that look nothing like the one in the picture, like Texas Roadhouse, remember, Lara? We should have just ordered a shot with your dad.) I was very happy with my Blue Moon and my mini cheeseburgers. I am pretty fussy about my cheeseburgers, but I really enjoyed these. They were more bread than meat, and the bread was very good, like little yeast rolls. The sweet potato fries were yummy.
Then we went to the movies, my choice this time: Stepbrothers. My brother Jason had recommended it to us, and I have to say, one of the funniest movies ever. Maybe I just needed a good laugh after this week of rain and stress, but I LOVED this movie. Warning: This movie was exceptionally crude and disgusting (although I did not think it was as offensive as The Heartbreak Kid, with Ben Stiller). I am not endorsing it or suggesting you go see it! I don't want to bring others down with me.
Looking back, I think it was kind of wierd that I chose cheeseburgers, beer and a raunchy comedy like Stepbrothers. But it was a very fun date night.
I had better go help Dave put the kids to bed. He just poisoned himself a little with old cake and looks pretty pale.

Sleepless, Again

I started the go to sleep process at 8:15 tonight. Finally got both kids asleep by 9:15 (they are so off schedule with this whole storm). I got in bed by 10 PM. First, I could not fall asleep. Tried for about 2 hours. Then, I finally did. Shortly after I fell asleep, Anna woke up crying. I had to lie down on her floor with her to get her back to sleep. I don't fit in her toddler bed. I don't want her in my bed. So this is our "compromise."
1:00 AM, back to sleep. 1:15 AM: Mama, I wet the bed again. What in the world? Jonathan never wets the bed. Two nights in a row, very strange. Maybe it's all this rain. Stripping the bed, with the wet sheets, the beloved snowman blanket, the two quilts (maybe I need to have less bedding on the bed for him to pee on) and changing a shivering and soaking wet boy into new jammies. How much pee could his bladder possibly hold? It's insane. Like someone dumped a quart of water on the bed! Glad I never took the plastic case off mattress from his potty-training days.
Then Dave went into a terrible coughing fit. I felt bad for him! He took cough med and sat up for a while to try and stop coughing. Now it's 2:15 AM and Jonathan and I are snuggled up in the chair watching cartoons. I can't even think about sleeping because I feel like the next time I get woken up, I am going to have a FIT!!!! Sometimes when I get woken up for the third or fourth time in one night like this I just lose it, and I start stomping and huffing around and even swearing, I'm ashamed to admit. I really don't have much control over my temper because I am so groggy.
My own mother never acted like this. I never remember her being anything but loving and kind when I woke her up with a wet bed or a bloody nose or a sick tummy or a bad cough or a bad dream. Which was, the way I remember it, almost every single night! Of course, my mother was almost supernaturally patient, cheerful and energetic when I was a kid, so it is not a very fair standard to compare myself to. I can remember waking up and groggily peering down the hall when we lived on base and she would be up scrubbing the terrazo.
Some people wind up in therapy because their mother is not good, and one of the things I struggle with is that I feel like I don't measure up to her in a lot of ways. I know a lot of it was a facade, which did crumble away in the second half of my childhood, but still, my Mom gave me a lot to live up to as a mother. I think we have a tendency to criticize the way our parents did things and think about how we want to do things differently with our own kids. I think people do this whether they had good parents or bad. I used to think this way, until I had my own kids and I realized how difficult, overwhelming and lonely parenthood can be, and that my Mom really did an excellent job, an outstanding job in many ways. I feel like I have been given so much more to work with and I just can't keep it together half as well as her!

Is it too early to start drinking coffee yet? If I had gone to sleep at 8:15 then I would have already gotten six hours of sleep. If I fell back asleep right now, I might hope to get five hours of sleep before Anna wakes up demanding a "bedtime snack (this is what she calls breakfast!)"

Tropical Flood Fay Pics

Some of these have nothing to do with the actual storm, they are just shots of how we passed our time stuck in the house. From top to bottom:

Anna sleeping in her new big girl bed. She sleeps with her hair all spread over the pillow and she folds her little hands before she goes to sleep. Yes, I have finally gotten her to sleep independently of me but I sneak in and take pictures of her while she is sleeping.

Jake the Koala Bear Webkinz getting some emergency surgery. I selected white thread to match his fur, but Jonathan insisted on blue, "because then he'll look cool!"

The road that we could not drive down (we saw big trucks make it just fine, but no cars attempted it)

Jonathan chair surfing. It's funny what kids come up with when they are really bored like this.

Dave digging our trenches in the front yard, which really did work. I am grateful for the memory of my former stepdad Captain Roy out digging trenches in our yard during a hurricane at Matte Drive. He was wearing a big yellow raincoat and little else. It really stuck with me for some reason (I think it was the raincoat) and I thought of it yesterday.

Jonathan showing off his balancing hanger. He was playing in his room, and he came out saying that he had balanced the hanger. He was adding weight first to one side, and then the other, to get it to balance. When he almost had it, he had to add a binder clip to the wallet. He kept testing it to see if it would swing down on one side when he hung it up. (I am sure you all get the concept of balance, but I think it is interesting that Jonathan was teaching himself this during the storm.)

Thursday!!!!!

Well, our house is dry! Very happy about that. We moved stuff up and away in the area we thought the water would come in, but it did not, so am very happy. Like I said already. Very happy! It is STILL raining. This is unbelievable. But the roads have drained a little overnight. We are thinking about venturing out. I talked to someone down in Palm Bay who was able to get around. I am just thinking of getting in the car and driving to Winn-Dixie, which is less than a mile away. We are starting to run out of food options. I mean, technically, we could live for days, but the options are starting to look very unappetizing. Anyone for a can of diced tomatoes? Mmmmm. Now if we had some chips, I could dice up some onion and garlic, throw in some spices, and try to make it pass for salsa, or bruschetta, or something. Still, have nothing to complain about this morning. Other than that our TV is mysteriously broken (like we can't even play DVDS broken), and I wrenched my stupid back last night. I got up and ran into the armoire and hurt my leg, and I guess my reaction to the pain made me twist funny. So now my back is all messed up. I was up putting ice on it all night. Sorry, said I was not going to complain.
I really am grateful that our house is okay,
and I hope (pray) all of our friends and New Hope family have fared as well as us.
I am going to get pictures of our Fay experience from camera today and share them on the blog.

Tropical Storm Fay, Wednesday, Part 4

Dave and Anna made a very delish white cake with white frosting from scratch today. In honor of the tropical storm, I guess. It was fantastic. I also got to talk to my Dad, which was good, because I really miss him. I have scrapbooked an entire month's worth of photos since the rain started. The trenches helped, for the time being, and we got a little break from the rain, but it is back again. Will the house flood? Will the house be okay? Dunno. Worried because nightfall is coming soon and we won't be able to see the water approaching the house as well. I guess that could be a good thing, in a way. Starting out it at the window does not keep it from rising further. But, we are all okay. Too much togetherness time, though, I have to say. Too much family time, too much quality time spent, in too small a house, for too long. Things have to get back to normal soon!!! I am letting Anna use up a whole alphabet sheet of epoxy scrapbooking stickers. That's how apathetic I am right now. Normally I shriek hysterically if they even approach my scrapbook stuff.

Tropical Storm Fay, Wednesday, Part 3,

Okay! So we looked outside about an hour ago and saw that their was probably about 4 inches of water pooling outside the bay window and the porch. I am not sure if I mentioned this, but the bay window is our weak point, because there is no foundation, just the wood of the bay window (some moron built it, probably in the 80s, probably while swigging back a Bud) We've (mostly Dave) have been out there digging trenches. I've been using a push broom to push the water in huge sheets down the driveway, where the water is probably 8 inches high. I am pretty short, but it comes up to my mid shin. The concerning part is that it is a solid sheet of water all the way up to the oak tree and all the way out both ways to the neighbors houses. We are referring to our street as Mimosa Lake. It would not be a good idea to try and leave our house. This is the one and only time that I have ever wished for a big ole' truck.
So we got these trenches dug and the water is flowing down towards the yard, and there is significantly less water pooling around the house. But the yard is already so flooded, and it is STILL POURING. So pretty soon our trenches will be irrelevant. I just really don't want the front of the house to flood! I love our laminate floors, and we have not even had them a year. But we are all still safe, we've got food, water, and amazingly enough, electricity.

This is incredible. I've lived here most my life, and I've never seen rain like this. My anxiety level is getting pretty high. It really seems like the storm just isn't going to leave. But you know what? I had a thought when I was outside in the rain with Dave, sloshing around in God only knows what (probably worms, slugs, leeches, cockroaches, scorpions). It was right around the time the shovel broke (the only one we have). I thought: there is no one I'd rather be digging trenches with than him. OK, you guys can go puke on your shoes now. Just had to share.
PS REALLY, REALLY WISH I HAD SOME SANDBAGS RIGHT ABOUT NOW.
PPS SCHOOL IS CLOSED AGAIN TOMORROW! Three days in a row.
Oh, and yes, I just heard on the TV that there still could be another 5-10 inches of additional rain. Lovely!

Tropical Storm Fay, Wednesday, Part Two

I really, really, really wish we had not cancelled our flood insurance. It was only like 165 a year. Of course, we have homeowner's insurance. But watching all this water fill up the yard and the pool and creep right up to our foundation, I really would appreciate the peace of mind that came with having both types of insurance. At the very least, I really would love some sandbags right about now. Thank God Dave had the foresight to go on Sunday to get a downspout and fix the front gutter off the porch. The wood post that supports the porch got eaten by termites and we had to replace it back in May. During the replacement of the post, we tore the roof of the porch apart. Dave and Terry from church fixed that up, but there was no downspout yet. If Dave had not done that, I think we would have water in the front room right now. There is easy access under the bay window because there is no foundation under it.
The kids and Dave are playing bored/board games. I think I should go join them.

Tropical Storm Fay, Wednesday

I can't sleep. I can never sleep through a hurricane or a tropical storm. Especially during a hurricane. But the power's still on, which is pretty amazing. The wind is starting to pick up a little right now, but I don't think it will be too bad. This will be the first time we actually weathered a tropical storm or hurricane in our own house. Normally, we pack up and head to my Mom's house in this type of situation. Or, during one of the hurricanes in 2004, we headed to Kentucky. I normally flee to my Mom's though, because I think her house is probably safer (just because it's newer), they normally don't lose power (they have underground power lines), they have a huge generator, and really, because I like the company. I feel safer being with more people in bad situations. I have some very fond hurricane memories, especially of my brother Jason. I also have some very unpleasant ones. Like when we came home from Kentucky and the power had already been out for a week, and our freezer was oozing with rotted red meat and all other kinds of horrible stuff. Worst smell ever. Lesson learned. We never quite got the fridge clean after that, and replaced it soon after. The pool pump had not been running for a week and the pool had turned into a green, opaque pond, complete with tadpoles. It was filled with leaves and branches and debris. That was quite an ordeal. Dave had broken his ankle and was on crutches during the evacuation and cleanup. It was hard. My great aunt Vernie also died during one of the hurricanes in 2004. My Mom had been taking care of her all summer and she was on hospice. For some reason, I knew it was her last night, and I was kind of glad for the hurricane so we could be there. I went in and checked on her a lot and sat with her. She did not know I was there because she was so close to the end. But it made me feel better.
2004 was a big trial for us. But 2005 brought us lots of happy memories: Jonathan starting to talk, going to DC and Sea World, Jonathan and I traveling to KY and NY together, getting our kitchen updated, and of course, we were blessed with a healthy pregnancy and a beautiful new baby girl just in time for Christmas of '05. So while the entire year (not just the hurricane season) of 2004 was a struggle, we were blessed with a smooth-sailing type of year in 2005.

I am really tired and this blog is very lackluster. I don't really have a point. I should try to go to sleep, or at least lay down and act like I am trying to go to sleep.
Jonathan was so bummed out when I told him he did not have school again tomorrow. He said, Oh, man! Why?! I like going to school! He really wants to go back.

Oh, and good news! Dave found my wedding band! I had mentioned in an earlier blog that I had lost it. So it's back on my finger! I don't feel like I look like a single mom now.

Tropical Storm Fay, Tuesday

Jonathan's school was cancelled for today and tomorrow. Dave's job shut down for today. My appointment for this afternoon was rescheduled, and Dave's band practice was also cancelled. So far it's just been a lot of rain. There was a tornado warning for our immediate area (my Mom called to tell me about it, I never pay attention to important stuff like this). I suggested maybe we should go in the hallway, or something, but I think Dave thought I was overreacting. I went and sat in the hallway with Anna for about 45 seconds, but then I felt really silly. Also, I felt bad that I took Anna but left Jonathan sitting in the family room with Dave. Plus it was really hurting me to sit on the floor, and Anna was having such a huge fit (the fit was not related to the tornando, but to an actual crisis: Anna wanted to peel her own orange, and I did not think she was capable. She was furious!) that I could not stand to be near her. So that was the main excitement today. Our power is still on. The front yard is pretty flooded, but thankfully our house was built up above the road. The houses on the front street into our neighborhood probably have water almost to their doors. I am a little worried about the pool overflowing, but what can I do?
I finished a book, used the treadmill, scrapbooked a little, and now we are going to eat an early dinner and just hang out. I expect that the power will go out at some point tonight, but hopefully I will be proven wrong. The kids are already a little stir-crazy. Hope all of the other Floridians are faring as well as we are!