A List of Things that Have Nothing to Do With Each Other

1.) I went to my CPR class today! I accidentally signed up for the wrong class, but it had infant and child CPR in it, so I know that on top of lots of other stuff about operating AEDs and how to make a splint and a sling and all sorts of great stuff. I was the only girl in a roomful of 13 men (one was the instructor) and they were all sort of tough construction guys. Like manly men. At first I was sort of intimidated, but then I realized it was actually a nice situation to be in. They all went out of their way to be nice to me and there was even some chivalary. Like I did not have to lug my fake person back and forth or put it in the "body bag" or anything. (Yes, the instructor referred to the tote bags that hold the creepy fake people as "body bags.") Anyways, I passed the class, and got my cards to put in my portfolio for my early education classes.
2.) Jonathan said to me last night, Do you want to know another word for walk? I did want to know, and he told me: STROLL. We cancelled our fancy cable to cut back financially but it has been a huge blessing not to have Disney, and Nickelodeon, and DVR and all that stuff. The kids learn so much more from PBS and the TV is on a lot less.
3.) Our church went portable this weekend! We moved right across the street to Sherwood Elementary Auditorium for our Sunday AM worship service. It went amazingly well, considering how complicated moving an entire church actually is. (I had NO IDEA!) I was very proud of all of us. Of course, there is lots of ironing and smoothing out to be done, but I think our New Hope family really rocked this weekend!!!
4.) I just put self-tanner on my legs in an effort to conceal their fatness, and I forgot how sensitive to smell my new body is. (Note: I am starting to feel like my original body was taken away from me and I was given a funky, rundown, malfunctioning one.) I am sitting here with a headache that is getting worse and worse, and everything in my body hurts. I have tonsilitis again, had to go to urgent care on Saturday, and feel like crud.The doctor there thought I might have mono. I told him my normal dr. just tested me for a whole bunch of "mono-like viruses" and it came back negative. I just remember her saying that phrase. He said he was not sure if she actually tested me for mono. But what is the point, even if it is mono, they can't do anything different anyways, right? I think with the two days of volunteering at church and then the looooooong Red Cross class I took today (doing CPR is actually very physical! And the instructor was very into hands on practice!) my pain has gotten a little out of control. I think I need to try and take it easy for a few days. OKAY. That was my complaining.... wasn't that fun? Is anyone still reading this? But seriously, the smell of this self-tanner is going to make me vomit! It's NOT Avon, I'll tell you that much.
5.) I am really, really, really exhausted right now, but am too wound up to go to bed. I should at least go get in bed and rest.
6.) Jonathan is still awake right now. He has really bad hiccuups and has had them off and on since about 9 PM. I don't blame him for not being able to sleep!
7.) Jonathan has been picking up lots of sign language from his teacher. He is always showing us how to sign something. This morning he was trying to negotiate a deal with Anna to swap some Littlest Pet Shop toys with her. He wants her pet with the skateboard, and she really does want one of his tiny gerbils, but Anna knows she has some power over him, so she is holding out and not making any deals just yet. While he was trying to convince her, he said slowly and carefully, "Look at me, Anna. Just move your head, up and down like this (shaking his head vigorously). That's sign language for yes. Do you want to tell me yes?"
I guess a sign language yes is binding when you are in preschool.
I thought that was just the funniest thing!
I also learned sign language for choking today at my CPR class. You put both your hands up and clutch at your throat with mad panic in your eyes. And there you go!

God is Everywhere

I asked Jonathan and Anna what they learned at church today. This is Anna's summary of what she learned today at Lil K (our version of Sunday School):
"We learned that God is everywhere. You can't hide from God. He knows where you are and he can always find you! Because he is EVERYWHERE! God is always with everybody all the time. You can hide if you want, but God is everywhere, even where you hide!"
I wonder if this had anything to do with the lesson today? It seems too good to have come from nowhere.

Four Generations

This is the picture I think Anna most resembles me in.

This is her face she makes when she decides not to cooperate and lets her entire body go slack and limp. Like when I am trying to get her into pajamas or something. I know she is cute, but if there is ever a time when I feel like slapping her upside the head, this would be it. (I never do, don't worry!)

Jamie, Anna, Donna, and Ludella (Lu). My little Anna was being a real goofball while we were trying to get a picture of the four of us together. My grandma came in from Kansas to visit my Mom, and it was neat to have four generations together. I think it is interesting how my Mom and I are so different. I am more like my Grandma in a lot of ways, and Anna is more like my Mom, in my opinion. I blame her sassiness and her spunk on my Mom, but also on my sister-in-law, Anna's Aunt Meredith. Blame is a bad word for it. I should say I attribute it to them. I love Anna's little (big) personality, and I am glad that she is not so shy and somber like I was as a little girl.

Also, we seem to be getting a little taller each generation. My Grandma is so petite we kept losing her at the store today because we can't see her when she goes off in the racks to browse. My Mom is 5 foot 1, I am 5 foot 2.

Maybe Anna can hope for 5 foot 4 or something! Although, she is such a little peanut now, it is not looking likely.

Our Weekend

The kids with Dave's late birthday cake. Saturday night, after we got home from our little vacation. I messed the cake up while putting the layers together, and did not have quite enough frosting to cover it up. But it was yummy, as Jonathan said, I should always make ugly cakes. I only put 7 candles on it, one for each birthday we have spent together. Dave actually turned 31. I will be 29 in June.

This is how Anna spent most of our evening trip to Sea World. We walked over from the Renaissance Resort, where we stayed Friday night.

So... the next morning, because Jonathan's legs were hurting him, and Dave certainly can't carry him on his neck all day, we paid 18 dollars to rent a double stroller. It was money well spent!

Dave, Jonathan and me at the dolphin show.

Anna was singing, I hate dinosaurs! loudly at the dinosaur restaraunt in Downtown Disney. It's exactly like Rainforest Cafe, but with dinos instead of animals.

Please, please, don't let the t-rex eat me! The kids were both very intimidated when we first walked in to the place. I think it's called T-Rex Cafe? I don't know with all of the dinosaurs roaring and meteor showers taking place and everything, it was pretty hard to focus.

Anna on the way over to Orlando. We picked the kids up on Friday from preschool and suprised them with a trip to Downtown Disney, a stay at a "fancy hotel" and plenty of time at Sea World. When we returned home Saturday, I made Dave bacon pasta and a chocolate cake with caramel frosting. We had a great time together!

Just Some Pictures

Jonathan playing with his treasure from school, an old piece of yarn he found. I think he played with it most of the afternoon.

Anna made this hat at school yesterday. Her teacher warned me in the parking lot how cute she was going to be in her chef hat, but I was still not prepared! She looked SO cute! Had to take a picture in the parking lot.

Dave and his Mom at his early b-day party.

Dave and Jamie. I love this picture of us, but no adult should ever be photographed wearing a party hat.

Jonathan and Anna at the beach. They look alike to me in this picture.

My Mom and her sister, my aunt Rowena. 2 of my favorite people in the world!

My sister-in-law Erin and me at the beach. I love Erin's necklace. And Erin too!

Our freshly pedicured toes (mine are the big ones!). She has the cutest little feet.

Strawberry Burritos

I was asking the kids what they wanted me to pack them for lunch tomorrow. I got them into Lunch Bunch, which means they get to stay an extra two hours at school, but I have to pack them a lunch and a morning snack. Jonathan said he wanted a Lunchable, and strawberry burritos. I was like, Um, what?!
And he repeated it, very clearly, stressing the b in burritos. I took a deep breath, thinking, okay, either my kid is being a wierdo and asking for something really wierd for lunch, or someone else who is a wierdo actually made him a strawberry burrito while I was gone to NC. I said, you mean, you want me to get a soft taco shell, and put strawberries in it?? He stared at me for a few seconds, with an expression that said, Gosh, this lady is crazier AND dumber than I thought. Then he said, NO! TWO things, Mama! (indicating with his fingers) Strawberries (1 finger!) and BU-RI-TOS (2 fingers!).
Blank stare from me. Now Jonathan is getting even more exasparated. You know, he says, gesturing wildly with his hands, THE CHIPS IN THE RED BAG! BURRITOS! CHIPS, Mama, CHIPS!
Ohhhhh.... He means Doritos! I tell him, those are called Doritos with a D, not burritos with a B!
Okay, he asks, what are burritos?
And then I have to explain, you know that place where we eat outside after we go to the beach where you love the tacos so much and Anna gets a bowl of white rice and Mama and Daddy always get burritos?
He is starting to get it, and then Anna makes it really clear: You know, Bubba! Those things that look like giant hot dogs!
Oh! Burritos! I get it!, Jonathan says, looking very pleased to have all of this cleared up.

I'm exhausted at this point, ready to go to bed, and craving an Insane Burrito from that place by the beach.
And I could really go for some strawberries, too.

Tuesday

Jonathan and I were alone today at lunch. Anna stayed with my Mom while I went to pick him up, and we had to run to our house to get some stuff, so we just ate some leftover Chinese while we were there. We were at the table and he said, I don't ever want to get the flu again. I agreed! He is finally better! He went back to school on Wednesday.
I can't believe a week ago today I was studying for my midterm and packing up to go to Raleigh the next morning. Everything I did last Tuesday was sort of dumb, I overstudied and underpacked. I studied a lot and memorized everything and then the midterm was really easy. It was cold in Raleigh and I did not pack anything warm. I borrowed some clothes. My Mom took Dave and the kids on a boat ride down in Sebastian (one of those boat tours, my Mom has not taken up boating or anything) for Dave's birthday. I am sort of bummed out that I missed that! Both the boat ride and Dave's birthday. They saw alligators and dolphins and Anna got to drive the boat for a bit (Jonathan declined). But I am glad they had a nice time. My Mom was kind to let them move in for those five days while I was gone, and she fed them every night and drove Jonathan and Anna to school and back. And watched them while Dave was at work. So she basically took my place while I was gone. I swear Jonathan grew a foot while I was gone. I guess he has been eating a lot at my Mom's, and she took him to the barber shop on base and got him a very sharp haircut. He is just getting so tall and thin.
We got Chinese food last night when I FINALLY got home after a long day of sitting in airports and waiting on delayed flights. The weather was awful in Raleigh, but thankfully, it was also awful in Atlanta, so my connecting flight was delayed just enough that I was able to catch it. After we ate, Jonathan got out the chopsticks and was like look, I made a V! And then he spent a long time showing me all the letters he could make, and what sound they make too. Then he got a splinter from them and was very upset. I was telling him that we should go to the craft store and get a bunch of popsicle sticks and we could make the whole alphabet. He immediately said, hmmm... I don't know, I think the Bs would be too hard to make.
He is right, so I said maybe I would get some pipe cleaners also. I think it would be cool to make the whole alphabet really big all the way across the living room.

Anyways, I was eating lunch with Jonathan today, and he said, I really don't like Happy Meals.
I was like WHAT!!??

And he says, Yeah, I really don't like them. They don't taste good, actually (this is his current favorite word). I think I just like the toys, actually.

Wow, is this the beginning of wisdom or what?

Monday

Some of you all may have noticed my snazzy, jazzy new layout. I am sorry if the pot of gold blinds you a little, or if the rainbow is hideous in its cheer. Anna picked it out. She loves rainbows, and works very intently on them with her crayons and pens (they are vertical, not horizontal) so she saw this layout and just had to have it. She says she wants to be a teacher when she grows up, one that teaches little kids how to draw rainbows. Isn't that sweet?
Jonathan is in his thirteenth day of being sick with the flu. He had a flu shot, as we all did, but apparently the flu shot was not effective against type B this year. I took him to the Dr. in the first 24 hours, he started Tamiflu. Saturday AM, he seemed better, but was NOT. This was just a trick. He got sicker. We wound up in the emergency room with him Tuesday/Wednesday overnight (the night between Ed's funeral and burial) where they treated him for dehydration and managed to get his fever down. My mother-in-law was here from Kentucky (I called to ask her to come because Ed was dying, the kids were both sick, and I was not feeling too well myself) and she helped Dave and I immensely during this trying time. So then he went back to the Dr. last Weds. AM for a followup after the ER. Now it is Monday, he is still running a high fever, so we are going back to the doctor in the morning. Once again, I thought he was better this morning and even spoke to his preschool to tell them he would be back.... but then the fever snapped back up, so maybe we will try for Weds. Class pictures are on Wednesday for both kids so I REALLY want them to go!
What else is going on? I am going to Raleigh this Wednesday through Monday to visit my best friend Lara and the rest of the Bear family. I am looking forward to seeing the three boys and meeting her new dog, Sky (short for Luke Skywalker, even though she is a girl, guess who named her?) I am going to be worried about my kids and everything while I am gone but I know I am leaving them in competent hands between Dave and my Mom. My Mom is hanging in there but every day is full of sadness without Ed. She told me she thought about moving out of her house because it made her so sad to be there but then we both agreed that she would also have to move out of town because everything here makes her sad also.
I have a midterm tomorrow for my class, and I have not studied yet. I will cram tonight after the kids go to bed. I think it will all be okay. Then after my class I will be all packed and ready to leave on my 6AM flight to Raleigh. Poor Dave, I am such delight in the AM, he is probably having anxiety about waking me up and getting me to the airport on time. Isn't there a 24hour Sbucks on the way to the airport? Venti Latte, honey, and it will be much easier for both of us.

Note: Orbit Maui Melon Mint chewing gum is super delicious! Off topic, but worth noting.

Gone from Our Sight

My stepdad Ed passed away last Saturday evening, February 28th. I was blessed enough to be in the room with him as he took his last breath. It was a privilege to be able to take part in his care as much as I did. It was an honor to hold his hand during his last few weeks. It was an honor to have known him these past eight years as my stepdad, and I will be forever, ever grateful for the love he showed my two children as their Poppa Ed. He was wise and useful and loving up through his very last weeks on Earth, and he is a role model in so many ways to all of us, both in how to live and also in how to die. In how to be present in this world and also in how to leave it behind. I am so sad for all of us, but I am so happy for Ed because I am confident that he is not suffering anymore and is in heaven.
Everything seems so incongruent right now for me as I grieve. In spite of how good of a good-bye I got to say to Ed, I am still left here feeling a huge hole in my life. My toenails are gorgeous. My sister-in-law Erin treated me to a pedicure yesterday and they are a bright, cheerful fuschia. But every time I look down at my feet, it just seems wrong. Today was a beautiful day, bright blue sky, puffy white clouds. Again, this just seems wrong. There are still floors to mop, sick kids to take care of, laundry to do, pets to feed. Everything keeps going, marching on and on and I just can't make any sense of any of it. There are some piles of junk sitting around my house and I keep staring at them and thinking, I should be the one who knows what to do with that stuff. This is my house, this is my life. But I can't bring myself to rifle through the junk, to put it all away where it goes. Pick up the pieces and move forward. Everything feels wrong. I guess this is grief.